


Tsunami of Blue

by Laska



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Love, Romance, Sex, lexa being hella gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laska/pseuds/Laska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa and Clarke deal with their growing attraction towards one another in very different ways . (Loosely based around the time they first meet - season 2.)</p><p>They decide to go away together to figure stuff out - drama and chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Lexa saw pain every day. She wanted to be gentle with Clarke, but the blonde would not allow it. She demanded a fight. And what Lexa was slowly realizing, was that Clarke's wishes were beginning to become important to her. Knees backed up against the table, Lexa defiantly leaned in a second time for a gentle kiss.

Clarke slapped her again. Hard across her cheek. A storm was brewing in Lexa's moist, green eyes but she remained outwardly stoic. She swallowed hard, her throat straining visibly, eyes begging the Sky Princess to allow this to go another way. "Clarke," she began, low and cautious.

She jabbed two fingers violently into Lexa's sternum. "No, _Lexa_." She hissed in time with the jabs, her lip curled into a sneer. Clarke leaned in and without pretense, clamped her teeth down onto the side of her neck.

Pain and anger surged through her veins. That was going to leave a mark. A _visible_ mark. An unmistakeable mark that anyone would recognize for what it was: she had been claimed. Clarke was teetering on a slippery slope. "You could be killed for that," she whispered, wide eyes locked on the blonde's.

"Then kill me." Clarke taunted. Desperately needing to get rid of the feeling of helplessness inside. "Kill me," she cooed close into Lexa's ear.

Clarke's lips and hot breath on Lexa's sensitive ear stoked the embers of desire and something else altogether foreign. Lexa whined low in her throat - a strange and vulnerable sound to her own ears. Her head was spinning, something was breaking -- Clarke made her feel so many things, so many conflicting emotions clouding her usual sharp mind. Lexa clasped her hands around Clarke's forearms, then slid them lower - holding her hands together and down as she leaned in again - this time for a rough, demanding kiss. Teeth gnashed and tongues fought for dominance. Clarke struggled against Lexa's grip on her wrists, trying to twist free but Lexa held her tightly all the while, kissing her fast, hard and cruel.

Lexa was a fast learner. Clarke was soon soaking wet and breathless - Lexa restraining her hands combined with hungry, insistent kisses sent her reeling, which is exactly what she wanted. She ripped her hands out of Lexa's grasp and thread her fingers into Lexa's hair, pulling her closer by the hair in her fist.

Lexa kissed her deep and hard and long until Clarke began making hot, little whiny noises in her throat and thrusting her hips forward - spiraling. Steadying Clarke's hips with firm hands, Lexa pulled her mouth away and looked deeply into the Sky Princess's eyes. The fight was still there, if anything, it burned brighter. She leaned in, gently capturing Clarke's bottom lip between her own. It was a chaste kiss compared to what they had been doing previously - and as soon as Clarke realized it, she pushed Lexa hard in the chest again with both hands. Clarke refused to allow Lexa to be tender with her.

"I thought you were going to kill me?" She taunted, trying unsuccessfully to force her knee between the brunette's legs.

Lexa gritted her teeth and willed herself to control her breath. She closed her eyes briefly. "I do not wish to kill you, Clarke." She tried to maintain eye contact but the way the blonde was looking at her - _into_ her, made her feel much too vulnerable. She averted her eyes and pushed back against Clarke who still pinned her to the table. Clarke was strong and held fast, trapping a woman who was growing angrier by the second.

"We're done when I say we are," she dared, looking right into Lexa's eyes.

"Clarke." It was a warning.

"Mm, hmm?" She was looking questioningly at Lexa, wide eyed and sincerely mocking her.

Lexa pushed Clarke in the chest with both hands, sending her stumbling backwards into the tent. She immediately called to her guards, two of whom rushed in. "Ge her out gon hir." (Get her out of here).

Two guards stood on either side of Clarke, each had ahold of her arm. She defiantly pulled her arms out of their grasp and stalked towards the door. Before leaving, she stopped to look up at Lexa briefly, "Osir laik nou odon, Heda." (We are not finished, Commander).

Lexa wouldn't return her gaze.

* * *

Clarke made her way to the edge of the camp without making eye contact with anyone. She had to get herself under control. Rein in these emotions this seemed to crash over her like a wave. There was no time for this. _Get your head together, Clarke. You can't lose this war because of a girl. No matter who she is. To you._

Lexa bid her guards to exit. She steeled herself against the unwelcome but exquisite images of blonde hair, pink lips and ocean blue eyes that were swirling through her mind. Her heart surged and swelled - painfully. More painful than any battle wound. Her knees felt weak and her breathing was labored. She had to quash these feelings - they would get them all killed. She was not an effective commander with these emotions. Her feelings for Clarke put her people in grave danger. No matter the things the Sky Princess made her _feel_ , she could not, would not, sacrifice many to save one. No matter who that one was.

* * *

Clarke made her way back to their tent late that night, wanting only to sleep for a few hours before going back to the camp. She settled into a bunk and was almost asleep when Raven came in and sat down. Neither woman said anything for a few moments, despite both being aware of the other. "You ok?" Raven asked, her voice smooth and warm in the dark. Clarke could smell alcohol on her breath and wished she'd had some.

"I don't think any of us has been ok for quite some time." They both chucked softly at the truth.

"I'm sensing something with you, am I wrong?" Raven, direct as usual, looked pointedly at Clarke.

"No." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "You're not wrong."

Raven continued to look at her, obviously waiting for more, but Clarke didn't continue. "It's more than just Mt. Weather."

It wasn't a question but Clarke answered anyway. "Yeah."

She could plainly see the turmoil swirling in Clarke's eyes. She looked haunted and lost and so, so tired. Raven moved from the chair to the bunk, nudging Clarke's legs over to make room. "Who else are you going to talk to?" Always the pragmatist.

She had a point. And as much as they had been at odds in the past, Clarke trusted Raven. She trusted not only her loyalty, but her ability to make tough, smart decisions. She would understand why Clarke had to make the hard choices she had, something that had not always been the case. They had all changed so much.

"It's your heart." Raven guessed and Clarke nodded.

Clarke closed her eyes and exhaled sharply. Her mouth suddenly uncomfortably dry. She nodded again, worried her voice might betray her.

* * *

Lexa had decided to stay behind while her lieutenants left on a scouting mission. She wore Clarke's teeth marks like a badge of honor. While many noticed and averted their eyes, only Indra had mentioned it. Something about that girl getting us all killed. Lexa silenced her immediately but knew she was right. Alone in her tent, she replayed the events that had unfolded between she and Clarke this evening.

Lexa was many things, but in denial she was not. She knew she had fallen for the emotional Sky Princess. She was in love. Really in love with a girl and it felt like there had never been another love like it. It was pure and sacred and not at all about Lexa.

And it had to stop.

* * *

 

Raven handed Clarke a small beaker of clear liquid. It was rough going down, but Clarke was grateful for it.

"Bellamy?" Raven narrowed her eyes, looking doubtful.

Clarke laughed. "That would certainly be easier, but no. _God_ no." [ eff you bellarke shippers - ha! ]

"Just tell me." She said, nudging Clarke in the knee.

Clarke remained silent. Not knowing how to begin, or what to say or how Raven would take this. She took another deep breath.

"What's the big deal?" Raven pressed.

"The Commander," Clarke said. Out loud.

An entire host of emotions showed on Ravens face. Confusion, disbelief and eventually... anger. "She ordered Finn killed and you're _fucking_ her?"

"Finn slaughtered innocent members of their tribe, Raven. What was she supposed to do?" Clarke sat up and grabbed onto Raven's arm, preventing her from leaving. "And Jesus, I'm not fucking her."

Raven respected Clarke, even maybe loved Clarke, but this was too much. "What _are_ you doing, then?" She demanded, looking Clarke straight in the eye.

"I don't know." A fat tear slid it's way down her cheek as she lay back down on the bunk, turning away from Raven.

"Uh yeah, that's not gonna work with me, princess," Raven rolled Clarke back over. "Make me understand."

* * *

Sleep would not come. Lexa lit a candle and went to retrieve her leather bound notebook. Looking over what she had written in the previous few days:

 _If there was one way to lie with you_  
_We would be soft and full of risings_  
_As mountains that run to the West_  
_My arms would surround you_  
_Holding you loyal as guards_  
_Keeping watch over a child or the night_

Lexa's chest burned with a longing she had never known. She felt so _romantic;_  becoming inspired by the beauty that was all around them. A starry sky, the dazzling fuchsia of a flower petal or the bright green algae growing on the stones near the creek. She wanted to burn these images into her memory so she could later describe them for Clarke. She wanted to teach her things: how to survive, fight, spar, play. She wanted to show her so many things - wanted to be there for all of Clarke's firsts. First time swimming in the ocean -- first time seeing the snowfall or a the arches of color that appeared after a storm -- so many firsts for them. Them. How could she give that up?

* * *

 

"How did you feel the first time you kissed Finn?" Clarke asked, taking another swallow from the beaker.

Raven didn't hesitate, "like I was home."

Clarke sighed and nodded, rubbing the bridge of her nose with thumb and forefinger, deliberately not looking at Raven.

"Do you think she's like.... your soulmate?" Raven continued.

"I don't know, maybe." Her breath was coming out in shaky little bursts. "It sounds crazy, but I feel like she's, like she's... my long lost--"

"Twin?" Raven deadpanned. "Like you were together once a long time ago and there's been a void ever since?"

"Exactly." Clarke responded quickly, surprised.

A knowing look washed over Raven's face, softening it. "It does sound crazy, but that's exactly how I felt about Finn. You're in love with her. And you're an asshole."

Raven got up to leave, but Clarke grabbed onto her jacket. "Wait."

"You can trust me Clarke, just let me deal with this in my own way." She shrugged out of Clarke's grasp and left.

Clarke laid her head down and wanted to cry but no tears would come. 

* * *

In the early morning light, she strode into the Commander's tent confidently with her head held high. She had allowed her clothing to be washed and mended and was wearing a button up shirt that was a bit too tight and straining across her breasts. Lexa had never wanted to bite off a single button so badly. "You sent for me?" Clarke was all business.

"Are you well rested, Clarke?" Lexa asked.

She let out a frustrated breath. "I didn't come here for small talk, Lexa."

Lexa didn't speak, just looked at Clarke with liquid green eyes full of unanswered questions. She waited until Clarke spoke again.

"You understand that last night was just about needing physical contact? Right? It wasn't about us."

 _Dammit_. _She'd_ _said_ _us_.

"Your words betray you, Clarke."

A deep pink flushed Clarke's face. It was so easy to see now that she'd had a bath and Lexa's breath caught at Clarke's indirect admission. Lexa wanted to reach out and touch her so badly.

"I don't want to do this anymore." Clarke blurted out, looking at the floor.

Lexa's heart went cold as a stone. "What are you saying?"

"We can't do this anymore." She whispered.

"And the alliance?" Lexa demanded.

"The alliance stands," Clarke continued to look at her feet. "Just not..." She trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

Lexa walked over and stood in front of Clarke, pressing a finger under her chin, lifting her eyes. "Say it," she demanded.

Clarke lowered her eyes again. _She_ _had_ _to_ _do_ _this_. "Not _us_ , Lexa."

"Not us." Lexa repeated softly.

They stayed quiet like that for a few moments. When Clarke finally looked up, there were tears in her eyes - eyes that found the bite mark on Lexa's neck and before she could stop herself, her mouth was on Lexa's. They clenched and arched and crashed against each other -- feeding the thing that was inside them both.

For Lexa it was fiercely protective -- gentle, loyal and true. For Clarke it was feral, sharp, urgent and dangerous. Together they struck a near perfect balance. Clarke's yin to Lexa's yang, as it were.

The kiss was explosive. All their pent up emotions finally finding freedom. Lexa grabbed Clarke's hips and hoisted her up around her waist. Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa as she carried her to the bed.

Lexa laid Clarke onto the soft pelts covering her sleeping space. She had not anticipated the outcome of Clarke's visit to be - _this_. She looked down at her princess -- her eyes a tsunami of blue. "Do you want to talk about this?" She offered softly.

Clarke quickly shook her head and reached for Lexa, pulling her lean body on top of her own. Their mouths met, open and wanting. Clarke's hands roamed possessively over Lexa's body, pulling her in closer and closer.

All of Clarke's earlier concerns seem to have melted away and Lexa felt unsettled by the sudden change. She broke the kiss and looked down at the woman under her. "What is this, Clarke?"

Clarke reached up for Lexa's lips, ignoring the question.

"Is this a _goodbye?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's pulse was hammering, her palms were sweaty and her throat dry as a desert. Clarke would be her undoing. "Please do not end this before we have had a chance to talk," she almost begged.
> 
> Alarms were sounding in Clarke's head. Run. Instead she looked at Lexa through her tears and said, "take me somewhere we can be alone."

Clarke's hands clawed at Lexa's clothing. The need to consume and be consumed was growing greater by the second.

What was Clarke playing at? This was a false surrender if ever Lexa had seen one, and as much as she wanted Clarke, wanted this -- something felt off. Clarke was lying to her. To them both.

"Look at me." Lexa whispered softly as Clarke's hands tried frantically to rip at her clothing, her teeth clenched and eyes closed tightly.

At worst, she should kill her and at the very least, she should retreat. Be an honorable Heda and lead her clan _away_ from Clarke and the Sky People, but Lexa just tumbled deeper and further into Clarke. It was as if she had no choice in the matter.

She grabbed Clarke's wrists in an effort to still her frantic movements, using the weight of her body to pin her down. " _Look_ at me, Clarke." Lexa demanded hotly, as Clarke struggled under her firm hands and searching eyes.

Lexa was fully on top now, her body wedged between the blonde's legs which wrapped around her like they were designed for no other purpose. She held Clarke's wrists above her head and searched her face. "Look at me," she pleaded, hating her voice for betraying her.

Clarke pulled a hand free and slammed a closed fist into Lexa's chest - _hard_. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to think. She wanted Lexa's body, slamming into hers, taking her breath away and knocking her senseless. She tried again, arching up for Lexa's mouth with her own, but she was too slow - Lexa held her firmly down onto the bed. Frustrated, Clarke struggled violently against the Commander, eyes like fire, "Get off me."

Lexa held fast, attempting to still the Sky Princess without hurting her. Looking deeply into Clarke's violent eyes, she felt a wave of sadness crash over her. "Ai hodnes."

 _My love_.

Clarke froze. She knew what that meant and she didn't want it. Didn't want to go anywhere near it. She valiantly tried to throw Lexa off her, but it was useless. A single tear streamed down Clarke's cheek as she tried unsuccessfully to hide from the Commander's searching gaze. Thrashing her head from side to side, she felt like a caged animal, trapped and desperate. A venom she didn't recognize bubbled up into her throat. "Either _fuck_ me or get off me," she spat, enjoying the pain reflected in Lexa's dark, green eyes.

Wounded, Lexa released her hold on Clarke's wrists and rolled off of her, finding her feet unstable beneath her, eyes clouded with hurt and anger. "We will talk another time." She said, straightening her rumpled clothing and messy hair.

Clarke rose to her feet which were equally unsteady. Without looking up, she strode purposely toward the exit. "It would be a mistake to go out there now," Lexa warned.

Clarke slowed. There was always a reason with Lexa, and despite what she was feeling now, she was too smart to ignore her. "And why is that?"

"You wear my kohl." Clarke reached up and wiped two fingers across her cheek. Sure enough, they came back dark. She was covered in Lexa's war paint. This would not go over well - Clarke walking through the camp with Lexa smeared all over her - for all to see. _Really_ bad idea.

Lexa approached Clarke slowly, she grabbed a cloth and began to gently wipe the evidence of their -- _thing_ away. Clarke's tears weren't helping, only smudging the paint further. Lexa was a mess of swirling emotions: love, anger, doubt, want. Want seeming to win out every time she was near the fair haired beauty. She dragged a thumb over Clarke's bottom lip as the blonde struggled to maintain what was left of her composure.

Lexa's pulse was hammering, her palms were sweaty and her throat dry as a desert. Clarke would be her undoing. "Please do not end this before we have had a chance to talk," she almost begged.

Alarms were sounding in Clarke's head. _Run_. Instead she looked at Lexa through her tears and said, "take me somewhere we can be alone."

Lexa didn't answer right away. She simply continued wiping the visible evidence of their encounter from Clarke's cheeks. Turmoil clouded her face - clearly experiencing a crisis of conscience or faith or both. "Meet me at first light near the bridge."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke conspires with Raven & she and Lexa take a road trip.  
> Clexa happens in a big way.  
> Bonus: candles.

"So let me get this straight," Raven whispered in annoyance. "You want me to cover for you but you won't tell me where you're going, _why_ or when you'll be back?"

Clarke quietly pulled on her boots. "I need you to cover for me, and I don't know where we're - _I'm_ going."

"You're going off to bone and you want _me_ to pick up the slack?" Raven's voice became louder.

"Keep your voice down." She looked around anxiously, positive no one had heard. "I'm not going to _bone_ her, Raven. We just need some time to talk."

"You guys are going to talk. You, alone somewhere with the chick you're in love with who just happens to be _queen of the fucking grounders_." She whispered animatedly. "Sure thing, Clarke." Raven saluted her. " _Fabulous_  idea."

Clarke rested a heavy hand on Raven's shoulder and sighed. "I know you don't understand or approve, but I need this right now."

The turbulence in Clarke's eyes and the weariness in her voice softened her considerably. Raven cared for her and came to the realization that if this was something truly important to Clarke, then she ought to at least try to respect it. And she _did_ understand - that kind of love.

"Take one of the radios, use this frequency only." She handed Clarke a small receiver. "If there's an emergency, I'll contact you. Three clicks, got it?"

"Got it." Raven turned to go but Clarke grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into an awkward embrace. "Thank you," she whispered - her heart swelling with affection for the surly mechanic.

* * *

She made her way out on horseback - carefully, quietly. Letting the moon be her guide, Lexa set out towards their rendezvous point.

She tried to still her mind to no avail - raw emotions surged out of control and she felt powerless to stop them. Powerlessness was not something Lexa had ever struggled with. She was trained and mentored well, not to mention, a born leader - she had always felt powerful. And she still did - just that Clarke had proven to be a force Lexa could not conquer.

And if she could not conquer, then she would own. She would possess. And with Clarke by her side, she would become more powerful than anyone could ever imagine. She smiled to herself, and felt a little like beating her own chest until an unwelcome memory flashed through her mind.

Costia. Tortured and killed. _Because she was mine_. A tightness enveloped Lexa's chest and she slowed. Her love carried with it a grave danger. She seriously considered turning around and heading back to camp when her eye suddenly landed on familiar braided locks of flaxen hair partially covering the sweetest face Lexa had ever seen.

* * *

Seeing Lexa riding towards her - high in the saddle, braids flowing loosely in the wind in the early light of dawn made Clarke's heart flutter. This was kind of how she imagined it as a child, she thought. Except there was a boy on that horse and it was white. Not an adorably arrogant warrior queen with a sword at her hip and a dagger in her boot, riding towards her on a steed as black as night.

Clarke leaned casually against a tree, trying to appear like her mind had not just been blown. She waited as Lexa slowly cantered towards her and reached a hand out low. Clarke took Lexa's arm and allowed herself to be swept off her feet and onto the back of the horse. Her arms snaked around Lexa's waist, as they rode out into the wild.

* * *

 

They rode for hours and Lexa knew Clarke had fallen asleep. The blonde's head was heavy on her shoulder and she could feel her slow, even breathing as their bodies pressed together. They were headed for an old bunker near some hot springs that she knew Clarke would love. They had passed their destination already, but Lexa wanted to let Clarke sleep, so she circled their temporary camp for another few hours. 

Close to noon, Lexa brought the horse to a stop near a shady tree. She placed a hand tentatively on Clarke's thigh, gently rousing her. "Did I fall asleep?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and looking around.

"For a few moments." Lexa smiled as she slid off the horse. She reached up to help Clarke down and began untying leather satchels from the horse's back.

Clarke had made her way over to some warm pools of jade green, crystal clear water. Lexa could hear her laughing and smiled to herself, taking in a slow, deep breath. She fed and watered the horse before making her way down about 15 meters to where Clarke was. Naked and submerged up to her neck. Grinning like an idiot. A beautiful idiot.

"Get in here," she said, splashing water at Lexa who tried not to grin too widely.

It was impossible not to get lost in Clarke. And the pair of them, out here alone together -- they could have been any two young lovers. If not for the killings and the wars and opposing sides and stuff.

Lexa quickly undressed and slipped in next to Clarke, handing her a small pouch of dried fruits and nuts. Clarke was riveted by the tattoos on Lexa's body. To be fair - Clarke was riveted _to_ Lexa's body. She had never seen the Commander's skin save for hands, neck and face. But this - _this_. Clarke's heart swelled and she swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. She watched as Lexa dunked her head, sending little rivulets of water running down the side of her neck as she came to the surface. Clarke wanted to lick them.

They'd been together for hours but said very little. Clarke thought she had maybe only said five words to Lexa today (seven, actually), and she didn't mind at all. They had some time. Not much, but some.

Lexa could not speak. It took all of her reserve to remain outwardly unaffected by Clarke's pale, creamy, naked skin. Skin like marble or alabaster - but soft and yielding. Lexa felt intoxicated with pure lust -- wanting desperately to map every inch of Clarke's body with her tongue.

She tore her gaze away from Clarke's naked shoulders and began to wash with a small sliver of something she had gotten out of her pack. She rubbed the small bar across her face and neck, gathering a little sand from the bottom to scrub her cheeks.

Watching Lexa bathe made Clarke smile - she was more relaxed and freer than Clarke had ever seen her. She could almost imagine Lexa as a small child and wondered what she was like. Clarke would bet she was small then - she was still small. Clarke noticed how tiny the commander looked, out of her robes and armor. She knew Lexa would hate that the thought had crossed her mind.

"Tell me about this place," she asked as Lexa handed her the small bar of soap that smelled like -- pine needles.

Lexa slowly worked the lather into her hair and scalp, like they had all the time in the world. "Anya and I began coming here when we were children. It was a special place for when we wanted to get away."

"You miss her." Clarke said gently.

Lexa nodded. "I'm glad you knew her." And she was.

They sat in silence again. Soaking their tired and bruised bodies in the warm water until they were both wrinkled up like dried apricots.

* * *

Lexa had kept this secret well. The bunker looked to be some type of hermetically sealed container invisibly nestled into the side of a mountain. Inside it was dimly lit, comfortable and quiet. Lexa carried in their supplies as Clarke looked around.

A fascinating array of items lined the shelves built into the walls. Books, old clocks and gold cigarette lighters, tiny animal skulls and seashells, brightly colored feathers and small pebbles, buttons and tiny wooden animals -- and drawings, lots of them. Children's drawings. Many of them stacked together and wedged between and behind books.

"My treasures," Lexa said softly as she came up behind her. "Collected over many years."

"And the drawings?" Clarke wanted to know.

"Some I found discarded here and there and ... some are my own." Lexa turned a latch that opened a hidden compartment in the wall and retrieved a bottle.

"Yours as a child?" Clarke smiled and thought her heart might burst, imagining a little Lexa concentrating hard on her picture.

"Yes Clarke," Lexa smiled at her indulgently. The Sky Princess seemed to be enjoying herself which made Lexa very happy. She uncorked the bottle and took a sip, then handed it to Clarke.

Clarke turned to face Lexa who had sat down on small sofa. She looked so young in this light, scrubbed and clean, void of her usual imposing attire. _Lexa was so pretty_. Clarke moved to sit on the far side of the sofa and stretched her legs out towards Lexa, who grabbed ahold of her bare foot.

Clarke wanted to ask if she had brought anyone else here, but thought better of it. Of course she had. She had brought Costia here. Her first love. Clarke wanted to know everything about Costia, but was too smart to ask. She wondered if falling for Costia had felt the same for Lexa as Clarke felt now - falling for Lexa.

Lexa interrupted her reverie. "Rest suits you Clarke," she said quietly, massaging Clarke's foot. "You're radiant." 

Lexa always made her blush. " _You're_ rather attractive yourself, Commander," She said quietly. And with that, both fell silent again.

They shared the bottle in companionable silence, Lexa resting her legs on the low table while Clarke stretched hers out onto Lexa's lap.

It was Lexa who finally broke the silence, "I'd like to kiss you.”

A sharp twinge of desire tore through Clarke. She didn't look up, but wiggled her feet in Lexa's lap, “I’d very much like you to.” Her voice was thick and low - clotted with desire.

Neither of them moved. Lexa felt heavy and drunk - from the alcohol and from Clarke. Mostly from Clarke, although they _had_ had more than a few sips each.

Clarke slowly pulled her legs up and pivoted on the sofa, turning around to rest her head in Lexa's lap. Blue eyes looked up into green and that's when the dam broke.

This was the kiss. The one Lexa had wanted with Clarke from the very beginning. Tender, searching -- gently insistent, but soft, heady and full of promises. Lexa cradled Clarke's head in her hands and kissed her like she was the only one Lexa had ever or would ever love.

Clarke answered the kiss with every fiber in her being - her mouth telling Lexa secrets she didn't know she was keeping. She tangled her hands in Lexa's clean, damp hair - reveling in a scent that was strong, clean, earthy and undeniably Lexa.

Lexa didn’t take her eyes from Clarke's as she pulled back slightly - giving her shy half-smile mired with longing. The absence of her lips caused Clarke to let out a little sigh. And that sigh became a moan as Lexa pulled Clarke fully into her lap, cradling her like a child. Lexa kissed her again deeply - their tongues moving against each other, slow, warm and delicious.

Clarke writhed and moaned in her arms. "Lexa," she whispered softly, "take me to bed."

Lexa entwined her fingers with Clarke's and led her into the sleeping area, backing her up against the bed until her knees hit the mattress. Clarke fell backwards onto the bed and tried to pull Lexa down on top of her, but she remained standing. Lexa dropped Clarke's hand and slowly lit every candle in the room, bathing the chamber in golden light so she that she could see every emotion that played across the Sky Princess's face. Clarke reached up to undo the lacings of Lexa's blouse, but she stopped her, pulling Clarke close and wrapping her arms around her  

This was the first time Clarke had allowed Lexa to touch her without a fight and she had to reign herself in and not move too fast. She wanted to lengthen Clarke's pleasure and draw it out for as long as possible. As far as Lexa suspected, Clarke had only ever been with boys, meaning she had never been properly been made love to. Lexa was going to change that.

She covered the length of the blonde's body with her own, pinning her down and holding her tightly as she licked at the tender hollow above Clarke's throat. Clarke reached up and cradled Lexa's cheeks in her palms, searching deep into Lexa's green eyes. A question was there, but Clarke knew she wouldn't dare ask it.

Clarke arched up into Lexa as their mouths crashed together, her breath coming out in short, frustrated little pants. She pulled at Lexa's simple undershirt, who quickly raised her arms to rid herself of the garment. Clarke pulled her own shirt over her head in one swift movement and finally, _finally_ they were skin to skin.

Clarke's hands roamed every inch of Lexa's back and shoulders, surprised to find the skin that was not marred by battle, was soft as a baby's. Lexa was so attentive and responsive, worshipping every piece of Clarke she could get her mouth and hands on.

"This shouldn't feel so good," Clarke moaned into Lexa's ear as the brunette licked and nipped at her collarbone and lower. Clarke let out a ragged gasp as Lexa flicked her tongue across a sensitive nipple. That sound went straight to Lexa's center. She gently bit down on Clarke's nipple and was rewarded when the blonde arched and cried out sharply.

It was almost obscene, their sounds of want and need. But they were alone - no one else around for miles, and this was between _them_. Why should they hold back? They both knew they might never get a chance like this again.

As Lexa sucked at Clarke's nipple, her hand slid down between the blonde's legs. It was Lexa's turn to gasp as she felt the wetness seeping through Clarke's undergarment. Clarke thrashed her head from side to side as Lexa lightly rubbed her open hand up and down over the crotch of her underwear.

Clarke's legs were spread unbearably wide as Lexa gently stroked her. From her opening to the tight little bundle of nerves near the top, Lexa petted the entire length of her over and over again. Working Clarke into a frenzy that had her bucking and whimpering  

Lexa had learned from Anya long ago to never, under any circumstances, make love to a woman until she begged for it on her own accord. It had proven to be one of the most valuable pieces of advice Lexa had ever received. Clarke wasn't begging now, but she would be. Lexa was nothing if not patient.

Lexa continued to rub between Clarke's legs, which began to tremble and shake. "Please," Clarke whined, grabbing Lexa's hand and trying to force it down her pants.

Lexa smiled and pulled her hand away. "Please what, Clarke?" She said, looking down at her lovely blonde captive. 

Clarke growled - her face contorted in frustration as Lexa waited patiently for a response. "Please Lexa... I need you." She cried, looking up into Lexa's eyes. " _Inside_ me."

 _Good enough_.

Lexa tore at Clarke's pants, pulling them off in one quick motion. She shed her trousers as well and climbed on top of Clarke, kissing her open mouthed and clumsy. Clarke wrapped her legs tightly around Lexa's glorious naked body; she was like a racehorse - sleek, gorgeous and strong.

As their kisses grew more demanding and insistent, Clarke once again forced Lexa's hand between her thighs. When her fingers found Clarke soaking wet, Lexa gasped, her eyes rolling back into her head. "Oh, Clarke." She whispered reverently. 

Time seemed to move as slowly as Lexa's middle finger as it gently slid into Clarke. Just one, painfully slow - in and out and in and out. Clarke bucked and thrashed underneath her, her hips chasing Lexa's finger. Clearly wanting more.

Clarke felt like she was in a dream. She was aware only that she was on her back, and that Lexa was moving on top of her as they continued those deep, searching kisses. She could feel Lexa's gentle, quiet strength and it helped her to relax and not try to control the the pace of the finger inside her. Clarke whined and protested, but Lexa knew what she needed, she would take care of her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke surrenders - love happens.  
> Lexa is so very extra.

Lexa wanted to bury her fingers into Clarke but she held back - wanting nothing more than to spend the entire night feeling her, tasting her, teasing her - but the blonde was proving too tempting to resist.

Clarke trembled as Lexa curled inside of her. She worked a finger into Clarke as the blonde shuddered underneath her. She slid deeply inside before pulling all the way out, noting the way her hand glistened with Clarke's wetness. Clarke arched against her, moaning in protest as Lexa pulled out of her -- letting her urgency be known by the writhing movements of her hips.

She needed Lexa. Now. She wanted the Commander to fill her, stretch her, become a part of her. She wanted to feel Lexa in her _blood_. Lexa slid in again, leisurely this time with two gently insistent fingers - pushing a little deeper before pulling back out. Clarke whined and nipped at Lexa's neck to signal her displeasure.

Lexa sighed against Clarke's lips. "I intend to drive you mad with desire." She whispered, as she captured Clarke's tongue between her lips, sucking gently.

"Lexa," she swallowed hard, riding the swell of emotions that Lexa all but forced her to feel. "You already _have_."

Lexa thrust two fingers into Clarke with a low growl of possession. Clarke's legs tightened around the brunette as she slowly moved within her. Her mouth on Clarke's as she made love to her with a deliberate tenderness that sent Clarke reeling. Lexa's lips and tongue slid over Clarke's throat and neck, then down to her shoulders and delicate collarbone.

She positioned the heel of her hand to press against Clarke's clit as she slowly increased the pace of her thrusts. She watched as Clarke's eyes clouded and rolled back into her head, her lip began to tremble and her body bucked beneath her. Clarke cried out - a long wail - her fingers dug painfully into Lexa's shoulders as her muscles contracted deliciously around her fingers.

* * *

Her wide smile was pure satisfaction as her legs loosened their vice grip around Lexa. She sank limp and exhausted into the mattress underneath her. Clarke looked up with a tenderness that made Lexa's heart ache. She bent down to place a kiss on Clarke's full, swollen lips. "We're not done, ai hodnes, we're not even close."

Lexa took possession of her mouth again - stoking the fires of passion in Clarke back to life. Clarke was stunned to find her body responding to Lexa again. She had not known it was possible to feel so completely sated, yet still desperately wanting more. Yet as Lexa kissed and stroked deeply inside her, Clarke found herself being swept away again.

Lexa was less gentle this time, working two, three and finally four fingers into Clarke's unbelievably wet slit. Her fingers slid in easily with virtually no resistance. Clarke relaxed completely and let her knees fall wide and open -- letting her body go slack as Lexa moved into her.

Lexa moved fluidly into Clarke - in and out, curling her fingers upwards to stroke the spongy pad that drove Clarke wild when she dragged her fingers over it. Lexa waited until she knew Clarke was close, when she knew she could push her over the edge any time she wanted. And here they were, perched on the edge of a precipice together. 

Clarke reached up and tucked a few strands of hair behind Lexa's ear. Her eyes were glazed and blown wide as she looked at the woman above her. Her heart swelled - suddenly too big in her chest. There was no denying it; this was Lexa. The woman she loved. Someone for whom Clarke would readily give up her life. Her eyes latched onto the mark she had bestowed upon Lexa's neck - the bruise had faded to a light purple surrounded by a tinge of yellow. The sight of it made her ache  

The wild animal in Clarke did not burst free as it had before. Instead it came willingly at Lexa's command as she tucked her thumb in close to her palm and pushed a little further into her - she stilled her movements completely and locked eyes with the blonde. "Clarke?" Lexa's voice was warm and searching.

Clarke's eyes were wide and dark as they met Lexa's. She nodded and allowed her body to go limp - opening wider to allow Lexa better access.

Clarke remained silent, eyes wide as she allowed Lexa to take complete control. She propped Clarke's knees up with pillows, making sure she was comfortable. Lexa leaned in and kissed the beauty in front of her - spread unbearably wide and open. For her. 

Now _this_ was a surrender.

Lexa broke the kiss and leaned back on the bed, feet underneath her as she reached for her pants. She opened a tiny pouch on her belt and withdrew a small glass bottle. She looked deeply into Clarke's stormy eyes and began to coat her hand and wrist with a thick, amber colored liquid.

At Clarke's raised eyebrows, Lexa explained. "Honey oil," she said, giving Clarke a shy smile. Clarke did not have to ask what it was for.

The intoxicating sight of Clarke spread wide and ready made her heart hammer in her chest. She dragged a thumb over Clarke's swollen nub and rubbed in gentle circles, eliciting the most delicious sounds from the blonde's mouth.

Lexa competently worked two, three, then four fingers into Clarke - thumb tucking into her palm as she pushed deeper, using the oil to lubricate and protect Clarke's delicate foods. Clarke choked and cried out, her nails digging hard into Lexa's forearm as the small piece of resistance that remained between them was finally shattered and Lexa's whole hand was inside of her.

* * *

"Lexa," Clarke whined, brows furrowed into a deep v - fighting letting go completely.

"You're safe, Clarke." Lexa soothed, her voice soft yet commanding, "I've got you."

"Don't let go," she pleaded, desperately searching Lexa's jade eyes. "Promise?" 

"Never, ai hodes," Lexa whispered, twisting her hand excruciatingly slowly inside her. "I promise."

A sob escaped Clarke's throat as hot tears slid down her cheeks. Every nerve stood at attention and she could feel every millimeter of Lexa's hand inside her. She had never felt this way about anyone - ever. This was the most intense moment either of them had ever experienced. Now was the time, she could finally answer Lexa's unasked question without fear.

Impaled on Lexa's arm, Clarke cried out and writhed under her. Their eyes locked together in the most perfect moment Lexa had never imagined. Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but Lexa shushed her, worried she might say something that would send her spirit crashing back to earth.

"Lexa-"

"Don't," she twisted her hand a fraction of an inch inside of Clarke, making the blonde moan again.

"Lex-" She choked on the sound as Lexa cruelly rotated her fist inside her  

"Lexa!" she gasped --  _sobbing_. "Lexa, I _love_ you."

Lexa's breathe caught and her spirit soared as she lowered her mouth to Clarke - finally tasting her wetness.

The Sky Princess tasted of honey and salt and sunshine and something else Lexa couldn't place. She tasted of blue skies and clear mountain streams. Lexa could taste her past there and finally, as Clarke arched and cried out underneath her - her future as well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby gets suspicious af and puts pressure on Raven + Clarke expertly pushes Lexa's buttons.

* * *

Abby had all but interrogated Raven when it was clear that Clarke was nowhere in camp, but to no avail - the girl remained tight-lipped. When it was discovered that one of their few radios was missing as well, Abby stalked into Raven's workspace, dismissing the other techs with a curt, "leave us."

"It appears that Clarke has one of our radios and she's been missing for more than 24 hours," she began, desperately trying to rein in her fear and worry. "Anything you want to tell me?" She crossed her arms tightly across her chest and looked pointedly at the girl in front of her.

Raven was torn. While she didn't know exactly where Clarke was, she knew why she had left and with whom. What she didn't know was if she was in danger or how she was going to explain all this to Abby.

"Uhhh," she began, buying herself some time. "Well..."

" _Uh, well what_ , Raven?!? Abby shouted. "If Clarke is in danger, you have to tell me."

"She's not in any danger, Abby. She just had to-- she needed to--" Raven trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence.

"Raven," Abby took a deep breath as she looked into Raven's eyes, her concern painfully evident. "Please tell me where my daughter is."

"She's safe, Abby." She said, avoiding Abby's searching gaze.

"Where is she, Raven?"

"I don't know where she is, but I'm sure she's safe." Raven clearly knew much more than she was telling.

_These damn kids and their secrets._

Abby took a deep breath, and tried another tack: "Raven, I know that your loyalty lies with Clarke, but if she's in trouble, I need to know."

Just then there was a commotion outside the gates. A warning came over the internal speakers, announcing the presence of grounders outside their walls.

Abby strode out of the bay, but not before telling Raven that their conversation was not finished. Raven kept a phony smile plastered across her face as she waited for Abby to take her exit. As soon as she was alone, she grabbed the radio.

* * *

Clarke had never slept so well in her life. She stretched out languidly in the lush, queen sized bed with real sheets and pillows. She had never been so comfortable -- or happy. Her hand slid over to the other side of the bed, expecting to find a warm, sleeping Lexa. Instead the sheets were empty and cool underneath her hand.

  
Lexa had spent the better part of an hour searching for just the right items; quail eggs, tender fiddlehead shoots and small, bright red berries - thorns piercing her arms as she chose the sweetest, darkest fruit for her princess.

* * *

 

As the gates opened, Abby could see Indra and four grounder warriors. Indra strode in confidently, eyes glaring at the group of Skaikru spectators that had gathered in response to their arrival.

Indra strode up to Abby who stood near Kane who looked concerned and confused. "We need to talk in private," she said, as she was lead into the Ark.

Once they were in private, Indra informed them of the reason for her visit.

"The Commander is missing."

* * *

Clarke had fallen back into a delicious slumber - her naked body splayed out across the entire bed, only a thin sheet keeping her modest. Her stomach rumbled when the smell of something delicious came wafting in from the small kitchen.

Lexa had cooked scrambled eggs with fresh herbs and sea salt over a small fire she lit in the hearth. She arranged Clarke's breakfast on a tray - adding the fruit, a glass of spring water and a lily she picked in the forest as she brought her princess breakfast in bed.

"Good morning," she said, eying the blonde who was just rousing. She set the tray on a table and reached down to place a kiss on Clarke's rumpled hair.

"Did you bring me breakfast in bed?" Clarke heart flip-flopped as she smiled up at Lexa who was sitting upright on the bed, next to her.

"I did." She smiled, eyes dancing and bright.

"You are so sweet. I've only ever seen this happen in movies or read it in books." Clarke said, sitting up and allowing Lexa to prop two pillows behind her.

Lexa was going to ask wtf movies were, but her voice froze in her throat. The sheet had fallen away from Clarke's breast as she shifted into sitting position. Lexa felt dizzy with renewed desire, but swallowed it for the moment. Clarke needed to eat.

* * *

Indra looked from Abby to Kane. Kane who looked surprised and Abby, who looked like she may have just figured out the answer to a puzzling riddle.

Three clicks, Raven tried again. _Come on, Clarke._

* * *

Clarke had never had an egg before but found they were delicious. She ate with a gusto that surprised her, but the food was completely forgotten when Lexa climbed on top of her and joined their mouths together.

Lexa made her breathless - needy and weak. She wanted Lexa so much it made her head spin. She lifted Lexa's shirt over her head and covered her small breasts with kisses and gentle bites. When her desire became too much for her to bear, she rolled over, forcing Lexa onto her back with a growl. A place Lexa had never been during their short time together.

Lexa's eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised by Clarke's sudden dominance. " _Clarke_ ," she said, looking deeply into those dark blue eyes.

"Lexa." Unwavering, Clarke returned the steely, green eyed gaze  

* * *

 

"They left together, didn't they?" Abby had cornered Raven between herself and a small desk.

"Yes." Raven knew she had to spill but was determined not to reveal too much.

"Why?" Abby's eyes were like missiles, trained on Raven.

Raven swallowed, how to answer that without lying? "Uhh," she stalled.

"Did Lexa force her?"

"No." Raven shook her head.

Abby was getting extremely impatient. And as much as she cared about Raven - like a daughter really - she had to find Clarke. Her voice became low and menacing, "Raven, as your Chancellor, I order you to tell me everything you know about this or else..." She wavered, "or else, I'll have you put in the stockade."

* * *

Clarke's eyes bore into Lexa's. She was on top and she _liked_ it, she wasn't sure she wanted to give up the position so easily.

Lexa swallowed roughly and tried to regain composure. This was a silly game Clarke was playing. A _Heda_ would never be on her back.

_________________________________

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby plays hardball with Raven + Dominant Clarke.

Lexa looked up at Clarke with wide eyes. Gritting her teeth and attempting to slow her hammering pulse, she commanded Clarke to stop. _Ordered_ her to stop, but the blonde only looked down at her with eyes full of amusement.

"I am not under your rule, _Commander_." Saying that last bit a little too sarcastically for Lexa's liking.

"I will not say it again Clarke, let me up." Lexa was serious.

Clarke didn't care. "You're ok," she cooed, leaning a little harder into Lexa.

* * *

"Ok, she left with Lexa. That much we know." Abby ran a hand through her hair, frustrated.

"Mm hmm." Raven was determined to keep Clarke's secret. She also didn't relish the idea of outing Clarke to her mother. _No thank you_. She remained poker faced and still as she waited for Abby's next move.

"Do you know _why_ she left with Lexa?"

"Mm hmm."

Abby was quickly losing patience. "What is the reason, Raven?"

Raven's eyes were wide as she squirmed in her seat. "She said they needed to talk." It sounded lame, even to her

"And they needed to do that _alone_?"

"Mm hmm."

Abby had had enough, she called to the guard standing outside the door, "Please put Ms. Reyes in a cell."

* * *

Clarke felt a delicious surge of power course through her veins. The way Lexa struggled beneath her had fanned the flames of her arousal like nothing she had ever experienced. She bent down to capture Lexa's lips, but was blindsided by an open palm connecting with her cheek.

She hadn't had much leverage and it surprised Clarke more than anything, but she grew angry nevertheless. Grunting, she gripped Lexa's wrists tightly and held her down - both women coming to the same realization at once: _Clarke was stronger than Lexa._

* * *

"Ok, ok - _Jesus_." Raven pulled her arm out of the guard's grasp. "Does being Chancellor automatically make you an asshole too?"

Once the guard had left, Abby looked pointedly at Raven, "Tell me what you know."

She took a deep breath. Clarke would just have to understand. "She went away to be alone with Lexa." Hoping against hope that Abby would get what she meant without having to explain further.

 _No such luck_.

"Why would she want to be alone with Lexa?"

"Well," Raven swallowed, "cause they're -- she's -- um -- well -- they're _seeing_ each other."

"Romantically?" God, Abby could be so dense sometimes.

* * *

"You say you love me and then you slap me? Tsk, tsk, Lexa." Clarke was enjoying this far too much.

"I never said I loved you," Lexa lied through gritted teeth.

"Oh, that's right... You like to call me _ai hodnes_. Did you not think I knew what that meant?" Clarke's tone was fast approaching condescension.

"You're taking it out of context, Clarke." Lexa tried to maintain control, but began to fail miserably. She fought the arousal that seemed to have a mind all it's own  

"Well then," Clarke said causally, her voice slow and easy. "Why don't you explain to me _what_ that context was."

* * *

"They're lovers?" Abby's face was almost comical, but Raven didn't dare let the giggle escape her throat.

"They probably are by _now_." She couldn't help herself and Abby had to get a grip. 

After Clarke had made her confession a few nights earlier, Raven had searched her memory for any clues about Clarke and Lexa's connection, and they were definitely there. Raven had been so grief stricken over Finn that she wasn't her usual perceptive self. She had seen the looks between the two - the glances held too long and the way in the Commander's eyes brightened when Clarke was near. But she hadnt put two and two together until after Clarke had confided in her.

"What is going on between them?" Abby wanted to know.

Raven was growing tired of this. "How should I know? She didn't say anything except that she was going off with Lexa somewhere."

* * *

"You don't know what you're doing, Clarke." Lexa said, tentative and low. "Let me up now and we will call this a misunderstanding." Her resolve weakening by the second, despite the way she held herself - stoic and proud.

She held Lexa down like a lioness toying with her prey before the kill. She leaned in and found Lexa's mouth, kissing her hard and rough. When she forced Lexa's knees apart with her own, the Commander's cheeks flushed a bright pink and for the first time, she looked directly at Clarke. Lexa's eyes were stormy and dark.

Clarke licked at Lexa's tender throat, and then upwards, to capture Lexa's soft earlobe into her mouth, "Do you trust me?" She whispered.

"This isn't about trust Clarke - ow!"

Clarke had bitten into the delicate skin of Lexa's ear.

She slammed her pelvis into Lexa. "I _said_ do you trust me?"

* * *

Abby had known. She didn't want to know, but she had. She had seen it and had suspected something before Raven confirmed it, but she couldn't stop herself from asking questions she wasn't sure she wanted the answers to.

"How long has this been happening?"

"I don't know. We just talked about it two nights ago." Raven's chest felt heavy and tight, this was a crappy position to be in.

"Do you think Lexa forced her somehow?" Abby asked. Raven looked at her like she just might actually be batshit crazy.

 _Forced her to get naked was more like it_.

She had had enough with the hopeful theories and questions and she decided to help Abby accept this. Raven took a deep breath, looked Abby in the eye and got real. "She's in love with her Abby. She wanted to go away with Lexa, she said she needed to be alone with her and asked me to cover for her. I gave her a radio but she didn't answer my signal today. That's all I know."

* * *

"I trust you." Lexa didn't add her usual "Clarke" to the end of that sentence and Clarke wondered if it meant anything. She was begging to realize just how incredibly complicated Lexa was.

Lexa stilled, her eyes wide and dark as she looked up at the Sky Princess. Clarke searched her eyes - trying to decipher meaning there. She kissed Lexa softly and teased her tongue along her full bottom lip - she decided to push it just a _little_ further. "Prove it," she whispered as Lexa inhaled sharply.

Adrenaline thrummed through Lexa's veins, making her pulse race and her muscles clench but she would not hide from Clarke. She looked directly into her eyes. "Is this what you want, Clarke?"

"Yes." She said quietly.

She could see the sincerity in Clarke's eyes - there was absolutely no doubt that Clarke loved her. They looked at each other, silent for a moment until Lexa spoke. "Why?"

She took a deep breath and let herself answer honestly and without a filter. "Because you stir something wild in me, because... I need you like this and in so many other ways that I don't even understand yet. It's so _strong_ , Lexa." She sighed heavily and loosened her grip on Lexa's wrists - surprised when she saw bruises forming there.

At the sight of Lexa's bruised wrists, Clarke began to waver. She worried that she had pushed Lexa too far too soon. She rolled off of Lexa and laid beside her on the bed. "I'm so sorry," she said, hands covering her face.

Lexa fought the urge to fold Clarke into her arms and sooth her, she stayed lying on her back, looking up at the roof of the bunker. Her voice was gentle, only slightly louder than a whisper. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I pushed you."

"I simply asked why, Clarke."

Clarke found her pants and began to dress. "I know and then I hurt you and now - now I feel stupid."

Lexa swallowed her grin, _stupid? Omfg_. "You didn't hurt me."

"Look at your wrists." Clarke searched for her shirt, finding it near her jacket which was beeping rather loudly. 

* * *

''Raven?"

"Clarke are you ok?" Came the familiar voice over the radio.

"I'm fine. Is everything ok there?" Clarke's heart was in her throat - worried something bad had happened.

"Uh yeah. Where are you?"

"I don't know." And then to Lexa she mouthed, "where are we?"

"We're about six hours north by horseback," she told Raven. "You sure everything's ok?" The conversation was beginning to feel very odd.

Another voice came on the radio. "No Clarke, everything's not ok. You are ordered back to camp immediately."

Clarke calmly cut the power to the radio and looked over at Lexa who was still lying on her back.

"Who was that?" Lexa wanted to know

Clarke came and sat on the edge of the bed, naked save for her jeans. "The Chancellor," she said simply, lying down next to Lexa.

Lexa threaded her fingers through Clarke's. "We should leave while there is still light."

Clarke rolled over and propped herself up on one elbow. She slowly traced a finger over Lexa's cheek, down her neck and over her clavicle, teasing her soft, sensitive skin. "What if I wanted to stay awhile longer?"

Lexa smiled. Clarke never ceased to surprise her. "Come here," she curled her hand around the back of Clarke's neck, pulling her closer for a kiss and then on top of her.

Clarke straddled Lexa and kissed her hungry and deep. "You sure?" she breathed into Lexa's mouth.

Lexa felt as if she had been punched in the stomach as her _yes_ disappeared down Clarke's throat.

* * *

Abby told Indra and Indra only that Clarke and Lexa were together and how far away Clarke had said they were. Indra knew the place immediately and said that she would go after them at first light. They wisely wanted to keep this quiet given their hard won and fragile alliance.

"Fine, but I'm going with you." Abby told Indra. "See you at first light." 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke teased Lexa relentlessly. "Want me to stop?" She whispered in Lexa's ear before running her tongue over the sensitive outer cartilage.

Lexa's lips may have said yes but her body was putting up a fight - trying to protect the weak places. _Clarke was way out of her depth here._

Rolling off of Lexa, Clarke collapsed onto the bed, burrowing her head in the pillow with a low whine of frustration. They lay like that for a few moments before Clarke spoke.

"What did I let you do to _me_ last night?"

"It's not the same thing, Clarke." Lexa's voice held a sharp edge of pain and Clarke suddenly began to understand. _Costia_.

Clarke's eyes welled up almost immediately and before she could regain her composure, hot tears began to roll silently down her cheeks. She hadn't thought of Costia and how this might stir old feelings for Lexa - how insensitive of her. Falling in love had been the last thing on her mind, yet here they were. Her heart was breaking - for Lexa, for Costia, for _them_. If there would be a them after they both headed back to their respective people.

Clarke rolled over and snuggled close to Lexa's body - wrapping an arm around her. "Talk to me," she whispered low and close to Lexa's ear.

Lexa could feel Clarke's tears on the back of her neck. Her heart was firmly lodged in her throat, feeling as if it might break at any moment. She took a long, deep breath before she spoke. "She was the only one," she said, scarcely above a whisper.

Clarke loved the sound of Lexa's voice. She was surprised and a little ashamed about the way it affected her - that voice called to something deep and primal within her and she felt herself grow wet immediately. Swallowing her arousal, Clarke simply held her tighter and waited for the rest to come.

"She was gentle," she continued, "like you."

Clarke only held Lexa closer.

"She chased _me_ ," Lexa's voice cracked as a single sharp cry escaped her throat.

Clarke wanted to tell Lexa to stop. She didn't want Lexa to feel like she had to relive these painful memories, but she knew this was important. Their entire relationship might just rest on the outcome of this one conversation.

Lexa had begun to sob so deeply, that her body shook. She didn't make a sound and held her breath so long, Clarke became worried. "Breathe, uh, Lexa." _Shit. Clarke had almost called her 'baby'_.

She took in a ragged breath and let her body relax a little more into Clarke. She didn't know where to start, so she opened her mouth and let the words come - haphazard as they may.

"We met the summer I was 16. She was-" Her sobbing was interfering with her ability to speak and she hated herself for it. Hated herself for being so weak. She took a deep breath. "She was the one who always told me that I was still me. After everyone bowed to worship me as Commander, all Cos- _she_ wanted was Lexa."

Clarke slipped an arm under Lexa and cradled her from behind. She felt sick and sad and sorry that she had pushed Lexa here. It was avoidable, she shouldn't have tried to push so hard.

Lexa continued. "And with her, I was still me. And I feel like---" her voice cracked again. Tears stung her eyes, but she continued. "And since then, I haven't been Lexa with anyone---" She could hardly continue through the sobs wracking her body. "With anyone but you and that is something that terrifies me."

"Tell me why," Clarke whispered, holding on for dear life.

"Clarke, Costia was tortured and killed. Because of me." Lexa wiped her eyes on her sleeve and continued, "being with me-- I want you to know that if you choose to immerse yourself into my life - my mind and heart - I will push you to places that could be very dangerous. Her voice broke and she was silent before she spoke again, "and I -- I -- I think you should know this before you -- before we... you might want to reconsider."

Clarke knew that Lexa didn't want her to do that. Instead, she saw this as simply another way Lexa tried to keep her at arm's length. If Lexa expected to scare or overwhelm Clarke into running away, she had been mistaken. She buried her face in Lexa's hair. "I'm not going anywhere." She kissed the back of Lexa's neck and added in a low whisper, " _ever._ "

As Lexa's tears began to subside, the words came out a little easier. “I know I’ve been distant today. It’s just…you’re the only other person I’ve been intimate with besides --" her voice cracked but she continued. "From the very first moment I saw you, Clarke, I've felt connected to you in a way I have never experienced with another person. Even Cos-" Lexa had to choke back a whole new batch of tears.

"I feel energized when you are around, yet you provide me with solace and comfort as well. I value your mind and your strength and being with you --- like this," she swallowed against the lump in her throat, "it's incredible. There's never been anything like it for me, but..."

That "but" terrified Clarke. The word hung heavy in the air between them

Lexa closed her eyes and sighed. “I want you to be sure, Clarke.” She reached for Clarke's hand and held it close to her lips, grazing her knuckles. “I want you to understand that there are risks, Clarke. Real ones; with your people, my people and the people who want me and anyone I love dead." Lexa turned abruptly to face Clarke, gazing deeply into a turbulent sea of dark blue.

She almost wanted to shake the Sky Princess, make her understand how serious this was. "Do you understand?" Lexa said rather harshly. Her voice became softer, "if anything happened to you Clarke, I would cease to live."

She tried to connect with Lexa's eyes, but she kept averting them. She clasped her palms onto Lexa's cheeks, forcing her to look up. "If anything happened to you Lexa, it would _ruin_ me."

Lexa blushed and averted her eyes again, which made Clarke angry. How could she throw all that out there and remain so impassive? She spoke without thinking, "you think you're the only one who's _scared_ here? You think you're alone in your fears about us? Yeah, I said _us_ Lexa, because we are."

Lexa opened her mouth, but Clarke beat her to the punch.

"You think I'm not terrified that I'm going to lose you? Lexa, I'm in love with you. I've been waiting for you my _whole_ life. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Anyone - and I'm angry. I'm unbelievably angry at you, Lexa."

Upon hearing Clarke's declaration, Lexa's heart did a somersault, but all she could manage was, "why are you angry with me?"

Clarke collapsed onto her back and groaned. This was difficult. "I'm angry because here I've found you - we've found each other. We have so little time and you're still holding back. You're still hiding, Lexa and that's not gonna work for me."

Clarke shook her head - she knew that adding pressure to the new relationship wasn't the answer. She wanted Lexa to come to her on her own - without pressure or guilt. But now Lexa was pulling away and Clarke wanted to figure this out as soon as possible - before anyone got hurt, (although it was already far too late for that).

Lexa's eyes were wide as she absorbed Clarke's words. As usual, Clarke's arguments were all intelligent and valid. Her head was swimming. The things the Sky Princess made her feel - it was almost cruel the way Clarke held her strings. "You are correct. I have been holding back. I didn't see it until we came here." Lexa didn't try to hide her eyes this time. "And I'm sorry."

Clarke laid on her side and wrapped an arm around Lexa, once again spooning her from behind. Their bodies fit together too well - it was as if they had been specifically designed for each other. Each half coming together to create a perfect whole.

Clark nuzzled her face into Lexa's sweet smelling hair. "I don't want you to be sorry," she whispered, tightening her grip on the brunette. Her lips gently grazed the back of Lexa's neck as she spoke again, "but I do expect you to make it up to me."

Holding Lexa from behind, Clarke was able to touch her in a way that was almost unbearably intimate. Pressed against Lexa's back, she could whisper into Lexa's ear as she allowed her hand to roam where it wanted. Lexa's thighs, hips, waist -- and upwards towards her breasts. Clarke let her caresses communicate everything she wanted Lexa to know - from the way she slid her hand possessively over the rise of Lexa's hips to the soft bites and kisses she bestowed upon her neck - Clarke was learning how to play Lexa like a skilled and talented musician plays a violin.

Lexa let out a moan as Clarke's thumb lightly grazed a nipple. And then onto the other one - _fuck, the Sky Princess was relentless_. Lexa knew she should have put up more of a fight but Clarke made her weak. Which, when she really thought about it, she began to realize that there was no shame in being the submissive partner when Clarke was at the other end of that equation. Together their power could be squared.

  
Clarke continued her slow torture from behind. Allowing her open palm to brush over and graze the places that drove Lexa wild. The hollow dip of her hip, that sweet spot just above the waistline of her pants -- Clarke teased Lexa relentlessly. "Want me to stop?" She whispered in Lexa's ear before running her tongue over the sensitive outer cartilage.

 _God. No_. Lexa swallowed hard and tried to regain some semblance of composure. She managed a simple, "no," before Clarke rolled a nipple between her fingers which answered her question a lot better than Lexa's words had.

"Tell me what you want," Clarke continued her teasing explorations.

 _Oh god_. Lexa's hips had a mind of their own. She attempted to quell the overwhelming desire to rotate and thrust her hips in response to Clarke's touch. Lexa's underwear was soaked through and neither of them had shed any clothes at this point. She tried to clear her mind enough to answer the question - something that proved to be somewhat difficult as Clarke sunk her teeth into Lexa's shoulder. She shuddered and let out a raspy moan. She turned her head in an unsuccessful attempt to connect with the blonde's lips "I want what you want."

 _Mm, good_. "You know what I want?" Clarke cooed hotly into her ear. Lexa shook her head, not trusting her voice. "I want to lick you until you scream my name."

 _Holy fuck_. Lexa inhaled sharply, feeling herself become absolutely drenched. She muttered a low string of words Clarke couldn't understand..

Clarke ran her hand over Lexa's thighs as her legs began to tremble. She slid her hand further up, grazing Lexa's firm stomach and higher to her breasts - finally coming to curl loosely around Lexa's throat. Lexa jutted her chin out a little further and relaxed - almost imperceptibly - but Clarke knew the meaning of the gesture. Lexa was laying her throat bare to Clarke. She was surrendering.

"All you have to do is say stop and I will." She squeezed Lexa's throat tighter - not enough to harm, but enough to hurt just a little. "Do you understand?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanheda finally gets her way. 
> 
> [ although, in this time period, the title is a little premature ]

Lexa understood. "However you want me, ai hodnes," she whispered as Clarke's fingers ignited a fire under her skin.

Clarke teased Lexa's small, sensitive nipples under her shirt until Lexa could no longer control her body's reactions. She had stopped trying. Clarke had already taken her further than she had ever gone with Costia; they had only ever been intimate one way - with Lexa on top - and neither of them wanted for more.

Until now.

Lexa was docile and soaking wet with desire. It was exciting and somewhat terrifying to lose control like this, but she believed in Clarke. She trusted Clarke and knew that she would follow her anywhere. No matter the destination.

As if she could read Lexa's mind, she whispered husky and low in Lexa's ear, "are you wet?"

Lexa gasped. _Who says such things??_ She nodded.

When Clarke responded with: "good girl," both of them groaned obscenely - Lexa arching hard into Clarke. It seemed Clarke had the Commander in the palm of her very capable hand.

"I'm going to take this off now," Clarke pulled at Lexa's shirt, who raised her arms in compliance. She pulled her own shirt off quickly and settled into Lexa's back. The feel of their skin pressed together was incredible and Clarke felt more drunk on Lexa than ever. She pressed her lips into Lexa's neck and inhaled deeply - that scent drove her wild.

Lexa's nipples became hard and pebbled in the cool air and Clarke's slow and sweetly torturous exploration of her body had her literally breathless. A shiver rippled through Lexa in response to Clarke's soft fingers sliding across her goose-fleshed abdomen. She had never allowed herself to even fantasize about sex like this - didn't know it was possible and she truly felt as if she might lose consciousness at any moment. She tried to slow her breathing and calm her heart.

As if on queue, Clarke spoke in a low tone. "It's all right." She slid her hand down Lexa's hip and inched closer to her sex. Lexa made a small sound and held her breath. "It's just me."

Clarke loved that she could affect Lexa in this way. _She fucking loved it_. She had never known she wanted this, but she had never met Lexa. Clarke felt more turned on than she'd ever been in her life. She felt powerful and strong and cruel and merciful all at once. She wanted to take Lexa - all of her - the way Lexa had taken her the night before but in a  _slightly_ different way. She was going to make the Commander's head spin before she touched her.

Clarke curled her hand around Lexa's hip then gently slid it down along her outer thigh. She whispered low and wicked into Lexa's ear, "has anyone ever spanked your pretty ass, Commander?"

Every nerve in Lexa screamed at those words which fed the flames of her already smoldering desire. "No." She grabbed Clarke's hand with her own in an attempt to still her, but the feel of Clarke's hand in hers simply made her burn hotter. She looked over her shoulder at Clarke and said with raised eyebrows, "why, has anyone ever spanked _your_ ass, Clarke?"

 _Oh, a hint of sarcasm; she's gonna resist a little_. Clarke liked that. "Touché." She gave Lexa a somewhat superior, predatory smile which only made Lexa narrow her eyes. "Someday if you're good, I might tell you."

"I've heard your bluffs before, Sky Princess." Lexa's eyes were steel but Clarke knew she was as turned on by their little banter as Clarke was.

Clarke didn't know where this side of her had come from, but she settled right into it. "And how do you know I'm bluffing, Lexa?"

"I don't," Lexa breathed.

"Exactly." Clarke said teasingly.

"Hardly fair."

Clarke snaked her arms around Lexa again and held her tightly - her voice warm and silky against Lexa's ear. "Now what made you think that this was going to be equal? Hm? You're the Commander out there, but in here with me - you're Lexa." She ran her tongue over Lexa's ear, causing her to shudder. "Now - tell me, _who_ is in charge of Lexa?"

The air became thick with tension, but Lexa answered easily.

"You are, Clarke." She swallowed thickly, head spinning and heart pounding.

* * *

Clarke had removed both of their pants and they lay naked on the bed as they had before; Clarke holding Lexa from behind. Her leg had curled around and hooked over Lexa's, spreading the brunette wide open. Clarke held back - teasing Lexa into an oblivion. She wondered if Lexa would beg to be taken the way Clarke had the night before. She suddenly felt like it was important to find out as she continued to simply enjoy the feel of Lexa's skin under her fingertips.

The Sky Princess' slow assault of her body could have been a zen lesson in patience and willpower; she dangled Lexa over the edge and simply held her there. Lexa wanted Clarke - now, between her legs, inside her - but she didn't want to have to say it. She had worn the Commander's mask for so long, it was slow to fall away completely.

Clarke, as usual, could read Lexa like a book. A children's book - with pictures; it was that easy. "Talk to me, _baby_." She felt it was a liberty she could afford to take and plus, it felt so right.

It felt right for Lexa too, but she growled and tried to slip out of the quasi-wrestling move in which Clarke held her.

Clarke held her tightly - almost too tightly - and stilled her in place. "Uh uh," she said, shaking her head to signal her displeasure. And with that she slid her hand down and curled her palm lightly over Lexa's sex causing the brunette to sharply suck in a lungful of air.

"You ok?" Clarke asked, loving the feel of Lexa's silky soft curls under her palm. Lexa whimpered consent as Clarke masterfully wound Lexa's heart around her little finger.

Clarke could hardly believe what was happening. It all felt like unreal - like a dream. A really amazing dream in which she is making love to a woman. No more than a girl, really. And it's Lexa and she's crying out as Clarke slides her fingers through her wetness which feels like the most perfect thing in the world to Clarke.

And it's not a dream. Clarke slid her fingers slowly up and down, feeling the soft, wet heat between Lexa's thighs. When she swirled a finger over Lexa's clit, the Commander shuddered and moaned. She began to focus solely on the swollen nub, lightly running her finger over it again and again. Lexa began to mewl like a kitten - as if she couldn't help herself. The sound simply fueled Clarke's desire to take her further.

Clarke wanted to thrust her fingers deeply inside of Lexa but she held back. Her intuition told her to go slow here, and as usual, she listened to it. She continued lightly circling Lexa's clit as she whispered softly into Lexa's ear. "Is it ok?"

Lexa bit her lip, the corners of her lips turning up slightly. _How did Clarke always seem to know what she was thinking?_ "Yes, she wavered briefly, "but-"

Clarke cut her off, filling the silence immediately. "You've never-"

"No." Lexa cut her off quickly. "But I want you, Clarke, " her voice became softer and smaller. "I _need_ you." 

God, Lexa just became more and more of a surprise. A surprise Clarke never saw coming but already loved more than anything or anyone ever. She resumed stroking between Lexa's legs. "You have no idea how much I love you," she purred and kissed Lexa's neck as her fingers slid down to tease Lexa's opening.

Lexa smiled as a tear slid down her cheek. "I love you too, Clarke." She steeled herself against the onslaught of emotions Clarke inspired her to feel. "Now please," she thrust her hips up to meet Clarke's hand.

Clarke smiled and her eyes danced with mischief. Recalling their conversation the previous night, she felt that turnabout was fair play. "Please what, Lexa?"

 _Of course_. Clarke would never let that opportunity pass, which is one of the many reasons Lexa was so drawn to her. The Sky Princess saw right through her - no matter what Lexa threw at her in way of a smoke screen, Clarke was able to seek out the true meaning behind Lexa's words and actions.

Lexa decided not to fight it. "I want you inside me, Clarke."

It was Clarke's turn to gasp. Lexa had been meek up to this point, and Clarke was thrown, not to mention extremely aroused by the candor of her admission. She recovered quickly. "But you didn't say please," she teased.

Lexa growled in frustration - a sound that went straight to Clarke's center. "Please," she said through gritted teeth.

As Clarke gently slid the tip of her finger into Lexa's wetness, they both held their breath. This was sacred -- it wasn't simply an act -- it held so much _meaning_. Lexa was giving something to Clarke that she'd never given to anyone. The same was true for Clarke. She had never felt so herself as she did now - about to become closer to Lexa than anyone ever had.

Lexa's hips made speaking unnecessary as they wordlessly guided the depth and speed of Clarke's finger. Clarke slowly slid into Lexa, enjoying the feeling of her soft, warm, wet pussy. Clarke's head spun. She had never wanted so much to give someone else pleasure as she did now. She needed to show Lexa exactly how much she wanted her.

Clarke spoke into Lexa's ear. "Do you remember what I said I wanted?"

Lexa's cheeks flushed hot. She nodded, knowing full well that Clarke would demand that she repeat it.

"And what was that?" Clarke slid her finger a little deeper into Lexa.

Lexa tried not to pant. She swallowed thickly, mouth suddenly dry. "That you were going to..." She trailed off, prolonging the inevitable.

"That I was going to what, Lexa?" Clarke swirled a finger over Lexa's clit harder this time as she said her name.

"Uh," she groaned and gyrated her hips. She continued, so low Clarke could barely hear."You were going to lick me until-"

"Until what? Clarke cooed, increasing the pace of her finger.

"Until I scream your name."

"Good girl." Clarke said again, this time with more confidence and swagger. "Now roll over on your back for me." It was evident that Clarke liked being in charge. And if Lexa's abundant arousal was anything to go by, she liked it as well.

Lexa did as she was told. She lied on her back and looked up at Clarke, who kneeled beside her on the bed. Upon seeing Clarke - her tousled blonde hair, dark eyes and swollen lips - Lexa's heart caught in her throat. The Sky Princess was a vision. Lexa made a silent vow right then and there to protect Clarke at all costs - forever. She lay on her back, looking up at the blonde beauty staring down at her.

Clarke bent down and captured Lexa's mouth with her own. It felt as if it had been ages since they kissed, not simply 20 minutes, and both of them opened their mouths wide, greedily trying to get as much of the others tongue as possible.

Clarke entwined her fingers with Lexa's as she kissed her, urgent and deep. She settled her hips between Lexa's thighs and began to grind their bodies together. Something that overwhelmed Lexa completely as she rocked into Clarke and moaned deeply.

They settled into a rhythm - rocking against each other in a way that felt much too good. Clarke felt dangerously close to losing control as she rubbed her wetness against Lexa's. She broke the kiss and moved her mouth lower to lick at Lexa's nipple.

Lexa's body was on fire and she was content to burn alive. Clarke slid down her body, planting kisses and licks along the way. As Clarke kneeled between her legs, it all became too much for Lexa to bear. She closed her eyes tightly against the tears that were forming - ashamed, not wanting Clarke to see her become unhinged.

But that's exactly what Clarke wanted. Clarke ordered Lexa's eyes open - forbidding her to hide, as she lowered her mouth to Lexa's pussy.

Clarke had been a little bit nervous but she needn't have been. Lexa tasted sweet and clean and Clarke felt like this was the most perfect thing she had ever done. She experimented with different techniques, noting the way Lexa's body responded to soft vs. hard, fast vs. slow and everything in between.

Clarke was so lost in her own world of exploration that she didn't notice when Lexa called her name. More like screamed her name as her body arched halfway off the bed. Clarke had made good on her promise; Lexa had screamed her name and come in her mouth.

Clarke's blood sang when she felt the evidence of Lexa's release. Her muscles clenched and she gasped for air as Clarke's tongue coaxed a second, entirely unexpected orgasm from her, causing Lexa to gasp loudly, while trying to push Clarke's mouth away.

Clarke collapsed onto the pillow beside Lexa. She pulled the sheet over them and snuggled into the Commander, kissing her on the cheek. "I love you, Lexa," she whispered.

Lexa wound her arms around Clarke. Her heart was full and heavy with all the things she wanted to say the Sky Princess, but there would be time for that later. She leaned closer into Clarke. "I love you too." The blonde didn't stir as slumber had already taken her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke try, but they just can't stop having sex.

They woke around midnight, both ravenous and needing to pee. They each wrapped a blanket around their naked body and climbed up to the surface. After putting on their boots, they made their way towards the hot springs. Clarke slipped into the warm water and began to bathe while Lexa built them a small fire. She unwrapped a parcel of dried meat and handed it to Clarke who began eating immediately.

Clarke was so _hungry_. Lexa, it seemed, stirred _all_ of her desires. Lexa dropped the blanket and slipped into the water beside Clarke, who fed her bits of meat from her fingers. Arousal ignited again when Clarke felt Lexa's tongue against her fingertips. Everything the Commander did made Clarke think of sex. She grew wet instantly.

Watching Clarke eat like that -- like an animal, and then her _feeding_ Lexa, possessively pushing greasy fingers into Lexa's mouth. _Holy shit_. Lexa felt as if she could go over the edge just from watching Clarke eat.

__________________

The moon was nearly full and as the fire died down, she could see Lexa -- standing across from her, rinsing her gorgeous body. Bathed in the moonlight - with her round, soulful eyes, wild hair and exquisite mouth -- Lexa looked like an angel. She was the most beautiful person Clarke had ever seen. Clarke felt her heart do a lazy somersault. The things Lexa made her feel - the things those feelings caused her to _do_ \-- she inhaled sharply and her head spun. She came to the easy realization that only place she ever wanted to be was in orbit - around Lexa. Forever.

Clarke was giving her that smile again. The one that meant Lexa would end up flat on her back as soon as the bunker door closed behind them. She felt herself grow wet at the realization. Arousal grew warm in her belly and radiated upwards towards her chest, then down both arms. Her blood positively sang with desire as she closed the distance between them.

She moved towards Clarke, resting one hand on Clarke's hips when she got close enough. She cupped Clarke's cheek in her palm and brought their mouths together. The slow, gentle kiss soon became hungry and urgent - Clarke curled her fingers around Lexa's neck - pulling her closer. "You have no idea how much I want you," she breathed into Lexa's mouth.

They scrambled out of the water, rushing to find their blankets. Lexa bent down to retrieve their boots a few seconds before Clarke did, and on her way up to standing, the back of her head collided with Clarke's face.

Lexa felt the sickening thud and knew she had connected with Clarke's head. She turned around to see the blonde laughing despite the blood that was pouring from her nose.

"Clarke!" Lexa tilted Clarke's head back and used her blanket to absorb the blood. "I'm so sorry." Lexa's eyes were wide and panicked - she looked like she had just set fire to a village full of 5 year-olds.

Clarke continued to giggle. It didn't really hurt and she knew nothing was broken. The way Lexa was looking at her was simply too precious, but she really had to let her off the hook. "I'm fine," she said, pushing the blanket away. "It looks worse than it is."

" _Clarke_." Lexa said again.

Clarke was beginning to recognize all the different ways in which Lexa said her name and what they all meant. The way Lexa said her name was always different - it always meant something special. She smiled and tried to kiss Lexa, who pushed her away.

"Afraid of a little blood, are you _Commander_?" Clarke put a nice, sharp, sultry edge on that last word.

 _Oh, desire - there you are_. Lexa accepted Clarke's bloody kiss - her senses kicking high into overdrive as she wrapped her arms around the Sky Princess. She grabbed at the blanket Clarke had wrapped around her - pulling it loose. They stood there on the sand - naked in the moonlight.

They didn't make it to the bunker that time. Clarke naked and bleeding and _wanting_ was simply too hard for Lexa to resist. She took Clarke from behind - on her knees on the bank of the river; thrusting in and out of her as their blood, sweat and arousal mixed together and their cries were heard by no one.

__________________

Abby met Indra at first light close to the bridge where Clarke and Lexa had met two days earlier. She had brought her own horse and some supplies that she thought they might need.

Indra rode up with a customary scowl. The Sky Girl's mother had no business going on this trip. Indra knew exactly why the Commander had taken the Sky Girl away and worried that it might be a problem for the girl's mother. She knew it could become a problem for _her_ people, which is why she chose to go after Lexa. Indra had much anger and resentment towards Clarke. Ever since the girl had appeared in their lives, the Commander's ability to make hard choices had wavered. Visibly.

Abby joined Indra's side as they rode off together in silence.

__________________

"Good morning, my beauty." Clarke whispered as she snuggled in close to Lexa, softly kissing the back of her neck.

The way Clarke fawned over Lexa made her knees weak. She had always been the strong one - the one who made sure everyone else was ok. Since she was a child and then later with Costia; Lexa didn't allow herself to lean on anyone. Ever. Until now. Something about Clarke; her strength, her mind and her heart - Clarke was _powerful_. Lexa could hand the reins over to her.

Lexa stretched like a cat and leaned into Clarke who wound her arms around her tightly. "Good morning, my princess." Lexa purred in Clarke's embrace. "Did we sleep late?" Lexa couldn't tell what time it was without looking at the sky, but Clarke seemed to have a good head for these things.

"I think the sun came up a couple hours ago," Clarke replied nuzzling into Lexa's neck.

Lexa rolled over to face Clarke and her eyes went wide immediately.

"What is it?" Clarke cried, seeing Lexa's horror.

Lexa laid her head back down on the pillow, looking utterly defeated. "I gave you a black eye, Clarke." Sitting up again, she turned Clarke's face into the light. "Two, actually."

Clarke furrowed her brow, surely Lexa was exaggerating. "How bad is it?"

"Let me put it into perspective for you, Clarke." Lexa took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose, squinting her eyes. "When we ride up together, whoever sees us is going to think I beat the hell out of you."

__________________

It was getting lighter as Indra and Abby rode in silence. Despite her worries, Abby had begun to enjoy the majesty of nature that was all around them. She looked around in awe at the beauty of it all. They came to a slow stream where they dismounted and watered themselves and the horses.

"Does Lexa do this often?" She asked Indra.

Indra screwed up her face to show her disgust. "Does the Commander do _what_ often?" She challenged.

Abby bit her lip and continued. "Well, you seem to know the way pretty well and I thought maybe you had made a trip like this before."

God, the Sky People were arrogant and vague. "Ask your question, Chancellor."

Abby appreciated Indra's direct approach. "Does she often take girls away-" she stammered, "for sex?"

Indra threw back her head and laughed. "The Commander doesn't have time for petty things like girls and sex - an entire nation _bows_ to her."

"Then what is she doing with _my_ daughter?" Abby asked.

__________________

"No, it won't be like that." Clarke tried to calm Lexa, who was becoming more nervous by the second.

"We should leave now, we've been away far too long." Lexa tried to drop Clarke's hand as she got off the bed, but the blonde pulled her back down.

Clarke pulled Lexa on top of her and sleepily wound her arms and legs around the brunette's warm, naked body. "Stay with me," she pleaded into Lexa's open mouth. They kissed - deep and long and slow. Lexa allowed Clarke to set the pace as their bodies ground into each other, both moaning at the growing friction between them.

Clarke looked deep into Lexa's eyes as they rubbed against each other. Lexa was going to make her come again. Just like this. Right _now_.

Clarke arched off the bed, her mouth an open "o" as Lexa coaxed one, two, three and then finally four orgasms from her. Lexa smiled as Clarke laid heavily in her arms and struggled to speak. "You _own_ me." Clarke whispered.

Lexa groaned, feeling new desire immediately. She forced herself off the bed, despite Clarke's protests and began to look for her clothing. "Come on, Sky Princess. We have to get going."

__________________

Clarke tidied up while Lexa packed their gear. She changed the sheets and rolled the ones they had used into a neat parcel that Lexa stuffed into her pack. Lexa would have them washed in tonDC for their next trip - which she hoped would be soon.

Outside both girls stripped down and quickly washed. They had had far too much sex in the last 48 hours for them not to take advantage of another bath.

Clarke hung onto Lexa from behind and let her hands wander to her breasts. Desire pooled immediately between the brunette's legs but she had to put a stop to this - otherwise they'd never leave this place. She grabbed onto Clarke's hands and stopped them. "We have to get back, my darling."

Clarke practically swooned. The way Lexa said " _darling_."

Clarke craned her head around to look at Lexa and pouted, very persuasively. "But I _want_ you," she whined, batting her eyelashes at the Commander.

Lexa didn't stop Clarke as she ran a hand down the outside of her thigh. Clarke teased Lexa's curls for a moment before thrusting a finger into her wetness with no warning whatsoever. Lexa gasped and cried out sharply as Clarke slid in and out of her cunt.

"Mm," Clarke hummed appreciatively, "you're still wet for me."

It wasn't long before Lexa moaned throatily and came in the palm of Clarke's hand. Once her body stopped shaking, Lexa climbed out of the water. They needed to high tail it back to their respective camps.

__________________

They dressed and Lexa packed the horse. After Clarke had covered the ashes of the fire with dirt, she walked back towards the horse where she saw Lexa's sword leaning against a tree. She smiled widely as she picked it up. She had always loved the fact that Lexa carried such a large and powerful weapon. Lexa was a total _badass_. Clarke smiled to herself as she went off in search of the Commander.

"Boo!" She shouted as she jumped in front of Lexa, wielding her sword. Lexa grinned. Clarke had no idea what she was doing, but her exuberance was cute.

In the spirit of play, Lexa raised her dagger and made an exaggerated movement to come after Clarke. The blonde ran away giggling and the game was on.

They played like children play Cowboys and Indians. Clarke hiding behind a tree only to jump out a Lexa when she crept near.

Lexa crept close to where she knew Clarke had hidden next to a fallen log. She silently tiptoed into the clearing but Clarke was nowhere to be found. All of a sudden, Clarke ambushed Lexa from behind with a war cry. Instinct took over as Lexa threw Clarke onto her back and held the dagger to her throat.

__________________

Indra led Abby through the trees, they were coming up on the place now. As they dismounted their horses and turned a sharp corner around a mass of boulders - there was Clarke, bloody and bruised as Lexa held a knife to her throat.

Abby started towards Clarke immediately, but Indra stopped her and clamped a hand over her mouth.

Lexa held a knife to Clarke's throat. Clarke was in trouble and Abby had to get to her. Lexa leaned down and said something before she captured Clarke's lips in a kiss but the blonde struggled underneath her. _She was forcing herself on Clarke._ Abby tried to wrestle free from Indra's grasp as she watched her daughter flip Lexa onto her back and kiss her on the neck while reaching her hand inside the Commander's pants. It was clear from their sighs and moans that they were not fighting.

Abby and Indra's jaws dropped to the ground. Abby struggled to find her footing and a twig snapped. At the sound, Lexa and Clarke looked up and into the eyes of Abby and Indra.

__________________

 _oh shit_  

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Indra get an eyeful and Lexa morphs back into the Commander.

Lexa shouted a long sting of words in Trigedasleng. Something along the lines of _what the fucking fuck, Indra_? Indra abruptly pulled a wide eyed Abby around the corner, all the while covering her mouth.

All traces of Lexa gone, the Commander stood up and buttoned her pants, posture stock straight, head held high. She reached a hand out to Clarke, pulling her to her feet in an easy, fluid movement.

Abby was wide eyed and shaken. Indra had grabbed onto her by the arm and held her back with a hiss, speaking low into her ear - a warning, "your daughter will come to you, _give_ them a moment."

 _The sky people and their improprieties_. Indra scowled and shook her head. This had become a mess.

* * *

 

As soon as Clarke and Lexa made their way across the clearing it began to rain, and in a matter of about 15 seconds, the sky opened up and it began to pour. Heavy sheets of rain began to drench them in seconds. Lexa immediately ushered all of them inside the bunker - glad for the opportunity to attend to a matter more pressing than what she and Clarke had just been observed doing.

Indra should have known better - bringing Clarke's _mother_ here! Lexa felt the awkwardness of the unfortunate situation, but the Commander had no time for it. Once safely inside the bunker, The Commander informed the little group that, due to the weather and the lateness of the hour, they would be staying overnight and would leave first thing in the morning. Indra immediately accepted the orders and went to see about the horses but Abby didn't appear too keen on even looking at Lexa, let alone listening to anything she had to say.

"Ok then," Clarke swung her arms at her sides then clasped her hands together in forced casualness. She glanced in her mother's general direction, not meeting her eyes. "Are you hungry?" She asked, rifling through Lexa's satchel. "We have meat and nuts and—"

"—Clarke, can I talk to you?" Abby was trying to make eye contact, but Clarke kept shifting her gaze.

Clarke rocked back on her heels and crossed her arms - narrowing her eyes at Abby. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

Abby motioned to Clarke with her eyes, the message clear: _in private_. But Clarke was having none of it. "We can talk here." She gestured between Lexa and herself. "We have no secrets."

 _We_? Abby closed her eyes and silently cursed Clarke's stubbornness. Taking a deep breath, she wisely decided to drop it. For now. She recovered quickly. "It's just that you... _girls_ , should have told someone where you were going. It's dangerous for you to be out here alone."

Upon hearing that, the corners of Lexa's mouth curled up the tiniest bit and she turned away slightly so as not to appear disrespectful. Clarke's mother was foolish and didn't think things through — Clarke was safer with Lexa than anyone else on earth. Surely that would be clear?

Clarke pounced on her mother for her inaccurate assessment. "I wasn't alone, Mother." She nearly spat, but her voice turned into poisoned honey as she finished, "I was with _Lexa_."

Clarke sent Lexa a flirty smile, her eyelids drooping just a touch. That look went straight to Lexa's center, immediately filling her with an urgent desire, but the Commander — the Commander would remain in control.

She went into auto-pilot then, gathering wood from the bin in order to build them a small fire in the hearth. When she checked their canteen, she found it was nearly empty. She walked past Clarke and her mother as she made her way out to replenish their water supply.

Clarke watched in dismay as Lexa exited the bunker. This was not what she wanted to be doing this evening. She was angry. She had wanted to — _needed_ to talk with Lexa on their way back to camp. They hadn't spoken about what this meant or what they planned to do when they returned home from what Clarke was beginning to feel was their honeymoon.

Now they would be forced to ride the long way back with other people around. Clarke didn't mind Indra so much, although she was pretty sure the surly grounder disliked her. But Clarke absolutely did not want to share this — any part of this with her mother. This was a prime example of how Abby always assumed she knew what was best for everyone — while royally fucking everything up in the process.

Clarke lit the candles in the small sleeping chamber and retrieved some blankets from the cupboard, bringing them into the living room. "You and Indra can sleep out here - this sofa has a bed inside it that unfolds."

Abby sat on the sofa and looked at her daughter who was thumbing through an ancient but colorful picture book about jungle cats. "And where are you going to sleep?"

Clarke continued her perusal of the book as if she hadn't heard the question, silently praying that Lexa would hurry up and get back so she didn't have to face her mother alone.

Abby got up from the sofa and came close to Clarke, turning her chin to look at her bruised eyes. "What happened to your face?"

"It was an accident."

Abby was growing angry again. She could just bet that Clarke's injuries were caused by Lexa - some bizarre grounder sex ritual, no doubt. She turned Clarke into the light in order to scrutinize her further. "And what about this?" She asked, pointing to a bright red bite mark on Clarke's neck.

"Oops," Clarke said smiling, feigning innocence.

"What's going on, Clarke?"

Clarke did not look up. "Nothing."

"Why did you leave _with_ — without telling anyone?"

Clarke's eyes snapped up, she didn't miss a beat. "Don't you mean why did I leave with _Lexa_?"

Abby swallowed hard against Clarke's aggressive gaze. The blonde narrowed her eyes and continued to look at her mother like she was the stupidest person on the planet.

"Yes, I was wondering."

Clarke leaned back in the chair in which she was sat and put her hands behind her head — lacing her fingers. She looked like the epitome of composure and said, looking directly into Abby's eyes, "because I wanted to be alone with her." Clarke smiled innocently — sweetly.

Clarke sat back as Abby struggled with that for a few moments. When Abby finally opened her mouth to speak, someone could clearly be heard opening the door to the outside. Lexa came in carrying an armful of supplies she must have gotten from Indra. "Are you hungry?" She asked. "Indra caught fish."

* * *

 

And caught fish Indra had. Beautiful, fresh water trout that were as delicious as they were beautiful - to Clarke anyway. She had never seen a fish up close before and was excited to see and feel the iridescent scales before Indra filleted and cooked the tender, white fish over hot coals.

It had stopped raining and they all sat around the fire in silence. The sky was dark and the air still - stars brilliant and visible. Lexa who sat on a log opposite Indra asked Abby if they could see the stars from their former home in the sky.

"Ah, no. The stars are only visible from miles away." She said somewhat curtly.

Clarke could see that Lexa was trying. As Commander, she didn't _have_ to — Clarke knew that and felt her heart well up with tenderness for Lexa. Her chest felt so full of emotion, but her feelings would have to wait. For now.

"Does Indra know about the springs?" Clarke quietly asked Lexa, who nodded her head slightly.

"There are some hot springs close by." Indra pointed it out to Abby. "I urge you to take advantage of them while we are here."

"Yeah and we have soap," Clarke added, hoping against hope that her mom and Indra would go off and give them some space.

 _There was that we again_.

"A bath sounds incredible," Abby softened slightly, smiling at Clarke. "You're coming too, right?"

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra and Abby get their drink on while Clarke and Lexa have a nice bath.

Abby, Indra, Clarke and Lexa sat together in a pool of warm water - naked - not saying much of anything.

The moon did not glow very brightly that night, but it didn't prevent Abby from eyeing the marks on Lexa's neck and wrists. And apparently her back too. It was painfully obvious that they had been made by Clarke and Abby felt extremely uncomfortable. She washed quickly with the soap Lexa had provided and got out of the pool, leaving Lexa and Clarke alone with Indra.

Indra didn't care - she wasn't about to let the Commander and her girlfriend ruin a bath, given that they were so few and far between. She washed and rinsed and just relaxed in the water, not looking at Lexa or Clarke.

Clarke's cheeks were pink and flushed. As soon as she saw Lexa slip into the water naked, her body had had a mind of it's own. She silently willed Indra to take her leave, but the grounder seemed oblivious to the fact that her Commander's eyes were trained on hers like missiles.

As if reading Clarke's mind, Lexa cleared her throat but Indra did not look up. She shouldn't have _had_ to speak but Indra had always carried with her an air of impertinence. Probably due to the fact that she'd known Lexa for her entire life. But this was not the time to be indulgent. Given that they were so rudely interrupted earlier, she and Clarke desperately needed some time alone.

Clarke had no doubt that Lexa would take care of it - _eventually_. Lexa cared about Indra — it was obvious by the way the Commander went easy on the grounder but Clarke couldn't wait.

"Beja bants osir, Indra," she said softly.

_Please leave us, Indra — really?_

The grounder lowered her eyes in submission to the Commander but clenched her jaw at Clarke as she made her exit — resentful at being ordered around by the likes of the sky girl.

When Indra had gone, Clarke kissed the grin right off Lexa's face.

 

* * *

Indra had pitched a tent close to the entrance to the bunker against a boulder and went inside to retrieve the alcohol Lexa always stocked. She needed a drink after this day.

Abby was at a loss for what to do with herself. She paced around the living area, causally glancing at all the interesting items the shelves held. Well, she would have been interested had they not belonged to Lexa - a girl with whom her daughter had some kind of youthful infatuation.

 

* * *

Lexa gasped for little breaths of air but Clarke's mouth was urgent and relentless. "We can't," she whispered.

Clarke wrapped her arms tight around Lexa's torso — feeling the sharp definition of her ribs as her chest heaved in Clarke's embrace.

Clarke slowly licked up the side of her neck and brought her lips close to Lexa's ear. "You don't _command_ me, Commander."

 

* * *

Indra found Abby wandering around the bunker, obviously worried. She walked to the wall panel where Lexa kept the booze and turned to Abby. "You will like this." She pressed a button and a small, hidden compartment opened, revealing a frosted green bottle.

"Is that what I think it is?" Abby's eyes shone as she looked at Indra. She could _really_ use a drink.

Indra scowled. "That depends on what you think it is." Her mirth clearly showing.

* * *

 

Lexa growled and shook her head from side to side, trying to regain composure. _The way Clarke had taken her power and used it on Indra_. Lexa had never been so turned on in her life.

Her breath came out in short, little pants and her heart positively _thudded_ as Clarke twisted her fingers in Lexa's braids, gently pulling her hair as she continued to kiss and bite her sensitive neck.

"Stop," she was breathless. Clarke had to stop this. Right now. "Your mother—"

Clarke's reaction time was impressive. She thrust her tongue into Lexa's mouth, wrapped her legs around Lexa and began grinding against her in the best way possible.

Fire coursed through Lexa's blood. Her cheeks flushed as the sharp pang of desire in her belly demanded an answer. She wrapped her hands around Clarke's hips and pulled her close as the blonde continued to grind their bodies together under the water.

* * *

 

"How did you know about this?" Abby gestured to the the bottle as she and Indra sat on opposite ends of the sofa together, each with a glass in their hand. _Yes, an actual glass.  
_

"I have been here many times before."

"I thought you said that your  _Commander_ was too busy for petty things like girls," Abby challenged.

 _Ugh, sky people. Never seeing the bigger picture_.

Indra didn't particularly care for Clarke, but she believed wholeheartedly in her Commander."You think the Commander is so weak that she would carelessly share herself with someone who wasn't—" she searched for the right word. " _Extraordinary_?"

 

* * *

Clarke whimpered and moaned against Lexa's mouth as they breathed each other's breath. She rubbed herself feverishly against Lexa, her orgasm building — threatening to break free at any moment.

" _Lexa_ ," she whined. Grinding herself hard and fast against Lexa's body at just the right angle. "I need-"

Lexa thrust a hand between them, angled her wrist downward and slid three fingers into Clarke. Clarke who threw her head back cried out sharply, "ohh."

 

* * *

"The Commander has more responsibilities that you can fathom. But if she is here with your daughter, then I must believe that it is not a petty endeavor."

  
Abby reached for the bottle and generously refilled their glasses. Indra raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. The Commander could hardly be angry at the sky girl's mother for drinking all her booze.

"What do you mean _petty endeavor_?"

 _The grounders really could use a lesson or two in nuance_.

"Heda is wise and does not make careless decisions. If she is here with Clarke, it means she has very strong feelings for her. It is not a casual alliance." Indra took a long sip and leaned back, enjoying the light feeling of the alcohol in her system.

* * *

 

Lexa allowed Clarke to bite and claw against her skin - despite knowing there would be visible marks later. She rubbed the heel of her hand against Clarke's clit as she worked four fingers in and out - knowing Clarke was so close.

"Come on, Clarke," she groaned - completely lost in the moment. "Come for me."

Clarke cried out sharply as Lexa brought her to an almost crippling orgasm. Her body jerked and shook as Lexa held her tightly, whispering in her ear. "I love you, Clarke."

* * *

 

"You talk about her as if she's the— the _chosen one_ or something." Abby laughed self consciously.

 _Now the sky people were getting it_.

"She is." Indra replied simply, eyeing Abby's glass which was almost empty again.

Abby furrowed her brow and shot Indra an incredulous look. Lexa was simply a child - not some supreme being. The grounders were superstitious and followed archaic laws. Abby wouldn't challenge them, as she knew how important their alliance was but she wasn't going to stand by and let this _commander girl_ lead her daughter astray. She would have to keep a careful watch on Clarke until she came to her senses.

Indra slyly refilled both of their glasses and slid the bottle closer to where Abby was siting - attempting to create the illusion that the sky girl's mother had been heavy handed in pouring. She leaned back and watched in amusement as conflict played across Abby's face.

* * *

 

Lexa held Clarke close as she recovered, smoothing a hand down her back while she petted her hair. She hated to interrupt this beautiful moment between them, but she had to start thinking with her head again. These last few days with Clarke had been glorious and she had been able to drop her Commander's mask altogether, but now - _now_ that they were in mixed company; Clarke's mother and one of her generals - she had to be Commander around them at all times.

"We have to go inside now," Lexa soothed, still holding Clarke tightly.

Clarke groaned - "I don't want to."

"But we must." She pulled away from Clarke and kissed her neck.

Clarke looked up finally and bit her lip to stifle a giggle when she saw the dark, inflamed scratches on the side of Lexa's neck.

"What is so funny, Clarke?" Lexa wanted to know.

She traced a fingertip over the scratches. "I made more marks on you." She pouted and batted her eyelashes not looking the least bit sorry.

Lexa's whole body ached to respond to that look, but she knew she had to remain strong. She moved out of the water and began to pull on her clothing. "Clarke, we have to go." But the blonde didn't look at her, acting as if the stars were the most fascinating things she had ever seen.

Interrupting her reverie, Lexa's voice became the Commander's. "Clarke, let's go. _Now_."

* * *

 

Indra was feeling no pain as she watched Abby refill their glasses a third time. She would finish her drink and make her exit. She did not relish the idea of spending the night in the bunker with the three of them and planned to retire to her tent.

Abby's tongue was becoming looser as she drank. "So, how do you know about this place?"

"The Commander was born here," Indra offered, finishing her drink.

Abby's eyes were heavy lidded as she looked over at Indra quizzically. "You were here for Lexa's birth?"

"Yes," Indra stood to take her leave and actually smiled. "I brought her into this world with my own two hands."

  


	12. Chapter 12

Clarke and Lexa passed Indra as they neared the bunker. "Goodnight, Heda." Indra bowed slightly as she took her leave, smirking to herself when she noticed the bites and scratch marks on Lexa's neck. _Stupid girls_. Although the Commander did look somewhat content for a change.

As they entered, damp haired and barefoot, Abby looked up from where she sat on the sofa crosslegged, drink in hand.

"I see you two took your time." Abby looked straight at Clarke.

"I see you found Lexa's alcohol," Clarke snarked, swiftly reaching over to remove the glass from Abby's hand - tossing her head back and drinking the remainder in one large swallow.

Lexa came up behind Clarke, ever so gently removing the glass from her hand. "Easy," she said, feeling that warm, familiar tug in her heart as their fingers brushed.

Both Abby and Clarke glared at Lexa, who wisely retreated, giving them space.

"So where are you going to sleep, Clarke?" Abby asked in a hushed voice.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at her mother, almost in awe of her arrogance. "Where do you _think_ I'm gonna sleep? I sleep with Lexa."

Abby walked toward Clarke, cupping her face in her hands. "Clarke, what are you doing?"

Clarke pulled away. "What is it, Mom?" She gestured widely with her hand. "That she's a _woman_ \- is that it?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what's your problem?" _Clarke could be so aggressive sometimes_.

Abby hesitated for a moment, she was quite inebriated. "I just don't think this is a good decision. I don't think this is healthy for you and -- I want to help you not make a big mistake." Abby's eyes welled up.

"A big _mistake_?" Clarke's voice boomed in the small space, she took a step toward her mother, coming eye to eye. "What makes you think you have any say in my life or who I love?"

_Love??_

Abby grabbed onto Clarke's shoulders. "Listen Clarke, honey - I know you think you love her, but-" she slurred, her head spinning. She gestured to Clarke's bruised face, "I think this - this _thing_ between you two is destructive and I think you need to get away from her."

Clarke pulled violently away and through clenched teeth she seethed, "what you think literally means nothing to me."

Lexa could sense the change in energy and moved closer - she listened as Clarke continued.

"You had my father floated and you and all of the goddamn council sent us down here to die. As far as I'm concerned, I don't _have_ a mother anymore."

The split second before Abby's palm connected with Clarke's face, Lexa was there, gripping Abby's wrist in her hand.

"Go to bed, Clarke," her tone was neutral, but her eyes held fast, challenging Abby's death stare. As calm as she appeared, Lexa's voice told Clarke just how much this had upset her. Clarke complied immediately, going into the little room and sliding the door closed behind her.

Lexa waited until Clarke was out of ear shot. She dropped Abby's wrist and stood about four inches in front of her face, jade green eyes simmering with quiet strength. Her voice was low, "I know that you are her mother, but I will not allow you to put your hands on her." She jutted her chin out further and locked eyes with Abby. "I _forbid_ it."

It was on the tip of her tongue, it really was: _you're just a kid_ \- but the thing was, Lexa was a little intimidating. Abby took a step back, widening the distance between them, crossing her arms defensively across her chest. "I saw what you did to my daughter's face."

It was a cheap shot. Abby knew it had been an accident, but Lexa was undeterred.

"She is my responsibility now. She will never again be harmed. By _anyone_."

 _Certainly not by you_.

Lexa waited patiently for Abby's retort and when it didn't come, she softened. "There are blankets and pillows," she gestured toward the sofa. "Do you need anything else?"

The girl was respectful, Abby gave her that. "No."

Lexa nodded and left Abby to get settled. 

* * *

"What?"

"I will sleep in Indra's tent." Lexa repeated, she had a blanket folded over one arm.

"Why?" Clarke was visibly upset and Lexa hated that she couldn't hold her tonight. 

"Clarke, your mother is out there. It is disrespectful for us to lie in here together when -- when we are _not_ -"

Clarke smiled and raised her eyebrows, this sounded intriguing. "When we aren't what?"

A brief smile played at Lexa's lips. _God how Clarke loved those lips_. "When we are not married." She blushed and lowered her eyes.

Clarke felt the heat on her cheeks too, but tried to play it cool. "Married, huh?" She tucked her foot under Lexa's leg who had sat on the foot of the bed.

"It goes against our traditions to lie under one roof until we- until a _pair_ is married." She hesitated, heart pounding in her chest.

Clarke's huge grin erased all the worry in her - she knew Clarke felt the same way.

She reached down to place a soft kiss on Clarke's lips. "And I will answer all of your questions," then she kissed the top of Clarke's head, "tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Commander." Clarke looked up to see smile playing across Lexa's pillow soft lips.

"Goodnight, my love."

Abby smiled to herself as she heard Lexa bid Clarke goodnight and creep out of the bunker.

_That's right stay away from my daughter._

* * *

Abby rolled over and groaned - feeling as if there were thousands of tiny Raven Reyes clones in her head, jackhammering away at her dura matter. An ungodly sound came from the sleeping area. _Clarke had always been a loud snorer._

She made her way into the sleeping area. "Clarke, wake up." She shook her.

A pair of dark brown eyes spied her from beneath the covers.

"Indra?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have a very important conversation.  
> Abby and Indra are hungover.

* * *

Clarke had tried to get to sleep, she really had but knowing that Lexa lay not 30 feet from her was too difficult to resist. Now that they had -- now that they had become a _them_ , Clarke couldn't rest without her. She crept past her sleeping mother and out the door, signaling Lexa with a low whistle.

Lexa hadn't been able to sleep either and heard Clarke long before she signaled. "Indra, wake up." She nudged the snoring grounder with her foot who woke with a start, reaching for her knife. "Go sleep inside, Indra."

The grounder ran into Clarke as she begrudgingly moved out of the tent. _She was getting really tired of this_.

"Sorry Indra," Clarke whispered as they passed.

As soon as Indra was gone, Clarke crawled over to Lexa, wrapping both arms around her neck. "I missed you."

"Clarke." Lexa's voice was so soft.

"We're not under any roof and my mom is in there, passed out from too much alcohol." She brought her lips close to Lexa's bare shoulder and softly kissed around the edges of her tattoo.

It took all of Lexa's resolve to pull back and not get lost in Clarke - no matter how much she wanted to. She pulled Clarke down onto her bedding and wrapped her arms around her, spooning her from behind. "We will need to talk about what will happen," she swallowed thickly, "after this."

One of the things that Clarke found so irresistible about Lexa was the contrast between her and the Commander. Lexa was just a soft hearted girl with stars in her eyes, and the Commander was the infallible one, the one who held everything together for everyone - all of the time. It thrilled Clarke every time Lexa was vulnerable with her. Somehow it strengthened the bond holding them together. Like now - hearing the uncertainty in Lexa's voice when talking about them as a couple made Clarke's heart swell.

She settled into Lexa's embrace, pulling the blanket up around them. "Well," her voice was flirty and soft, "what do you _want_ to happen?"

 _Oh, that voice_. Clarke wasn't going to make this easy on Lexa, but she didn't really mind. It was sweet and sexy as hell, the way Clarke challenged her - gently drawing her out.

Lexa took a deep breath. "I want to be with you."

"How?" Clarke kissed the arm Lexa had wrapped around her.

"Like this."

"Uh uh." Clarke shook her head and tried to free herself from Lexa's grasp - but Lexa only held on tighter, she knew what Clarke wanted - she had to do better.

"You want specifics." Clarke could tell Lexa was somewhat flustered from Clarke's insistence, but also that she _liked_ it.

"Mm." She nodded in agreement.

"I want to be with you, Clarke," Lexa repeated, stalling for time. "And-"

Clarke smiled and waited for Lexa to continue.

"Every day. I want to be with you every day."

Clarke grinned and snuggled in Lexa's embrace, waiting for more.

"But I am Commander." Lexa's voice became practical, less romantic. "I belong to my people and I will not be able to recuse myself to be with you. There would be an uprising."

Clarke stayed silent. She had already thought a lot about this and was waiting to hear if Lexa would come to the same realization she had.

"But," Lexa continued, uncertain as to what Clarke would say. "There might be a solution..." 

Clarke turned around to face Lexa, "yeah?"

Lexa pushed Clarke onto her back, kissing her breathless, "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow." 

* * *

Abby and Indra both had terrible headaches; they had indulged too much alcohol and were paying the price. Abby sat down on the edge of the bed, head in her hands. "Where's Clarke?"

"Do you have to shout?" She rolled her eyes at Abby. "She's with the Commander." _Obviously_.

Abby was in a foul mood as she gathered her bag and jacket, not bothering to fix the couch where she had slept. "We had better get going," she said to Indra, who had laid back down with a huff.

"What's your hurry?" She asked Abby.

"We said we were leaving at first light, and it looks a lot later than that-"

Indra corrected her. "The Commander said that."

Abby stooped and looked quizzically at the grounder. "I know, we're going to leave together."

"I'm sure we're too late." Indra groaned against the hammering inside her head.

 _They wouldn't. Clarke wouldn't dare_.

Abby pulled on her boots and rushed outside. Indra's tent was packed up neatly and the two remaining horses munched on alfalfa as they eyed her curiously.

She went back inside the bunker. "Did they tell you they were leaving?"

Indra was not at all surprised that her intuition had been correct. "I assumed they would want to ride back to camp alone." She yawned and got up. "This should come as no surprise."

Indra took her time in tidying up the place - making the bed and folding up the blankets. Abby paced the floor nervously. "We should hurry, Indra."

The grounder stopped and looked at Abby. There was absolutely no reason to make haste; the Commander and the sky girl were safe, and they obviously wanted privacy. "Chancellor, your daughter is safe with the Commander, leave them to their privacy."

* * *

 Clarke and Lexa had set off before the sun rose. Lexa made sure to pack the tent and supplies well and she fed and watered the horses so Indra and Abby would have a safe and easy trip home.

They rode for about three hours. Clarke had fallen into a deep slumber about 15 minutes into their trek and Lexa had gently tied a leather strap around their waists so Clarke wouldn't fall off.

They came upon a damp, mossy area with trees so large and thick, they nearly blocked out the sun completely. Lexa rode until she found what she was looking for, the widest and tallest tree had a hollowed out base and if you looked really well, there was a hidden door at the foot of it. 

* * *

 Abby and Indra had bathed and then saddled up, beginning their trek home. The sun was bright and both women sheltered their eyes from the glare.

"How are we going to explain this?" Abby asked Indra.

"Explain what?" _Sky People, always so vague._

"Well, we went off in search of Clarke and -- the Commander," she rolled her eyes, and continued. "And now we're going to return without them. What do we tell our people?"

* * *

 Clarke stretched her arms above her head and bent over Lexa's shoulder to nuzzle her neck. "Where are we?"

"You'll see," Lexa said flatly, as she unbuckled the strap joining them together.

Clarke's eyes danced as she looked at the strap and then looked at Lexa, smiling hungrily - her thoughts blatantly obvious. She raised her eyebrows. "Tying me up already, Commander?"

Lexa's face became three shades darker as she blushed hard. She fumbled with the strap and turned her face away from Clarke as sharp, new desire tore through her.

"Come on, Princess." Lexa reached up to help Clarke off the horse. "We'll have time for that later."

* * *

 "Why do you worry so much?" Indra wanted to know.

"I don't have a problem with Lexa being female, that's not it at all." Abby said. "I just think that this is all so sudden and the fact that they had to keep it secret worries-"

Indra didn't wait for her to finish. "In our world, we have to take the good moments where we can find them. Is your daughter not entitled to happiness?"

"Of course, I want her to be happy, but she's just a _child_."

"A child who is a warrior and leads your people," Indra corrected.

* * *

 They tied the horse near a shady tree and walked along a small creek, deeper into the forest. Lexa leading Clarke by the hand.

"Where are we going?" Clarke giggled as Lexa tugged her along a mossy path.

"You'll see," she said, smiling and kissing Clarke on the cheek. How Clarke loved that smile.

They walked for about ten minutes more until they came upon a clearing where hundreds - no thousands of luminous, glowing butterflies fluttered about and nested in the trees. Clarke gasped as her jaw dropped open. "Lexa," she swallowed. "It's _beautiful_."

* * *

 "You cannot keep her from living her life." Abby listened as Indra continued. "If she were to be with anyone, would you not be glad she was with someone who would die protecting her?"

Indra didn't care much for Clarke, but she knew Lexa well enough to realize that if she had shared herself with the sky girl, then there was something very real and special between them. She believed in her Commander.

"You really believe that?" Abby looked sideways at Indra. She might not agree with her politics, but Abby did very much respect Indra's opinion.

"I _know_ it."

* * *

 Lexa lead Clarke into a clearing and kissed her softly on the lips. Taking both of Clarke's hands, she spoke.

"Klark kom Skaikru," her voice was rough and throaty, her eyes brimming with unshed tears as she slowly and deliberately bowed before Clarke on one knee. Taking Clarke's hand, she continued in Trigedasleng. "Ai pledge ai sonraun en ai tombom kom yu."

_I pledge my life and my heart to you._

Clarke's entire body trembled as she looked into Lexa's green, green eyes. She could not keep her hand from shaking in Lexa's and she didn't try to hide the tears that rolled down her cheeks. As Lexa continued, Clarke felt as if she might lose consciousness completely, but she didn't worry. She knew Lexa would catch her if she fell - she always would.

Lexa knelt before Clarke and looked deeply into those blue eyes, scarcely able to control her fluttering heart. She went on, "ai will protect your sonraun as ai own. ai vow kom put your safety en your needs above ai own o ai kru. ai laik asking yu, klark kom skaikru, will yu join ai side as ai friend, ai lover, ai equal en ai houmon?"

Clarke felt as if she had been blindsided by a truck (whatever that was). She understood Lexa's words, but had a hard time grasping them as she felt her chest well up with emotion. Lexa had said:

_I will protect your life as my own. I vow to put your safety and your needs above my own or my people. I am asking you, Clarke kom Skaikru, will you join my side as my friend, my lover, my equal and my wife?_


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody, and I mean _nobody_ hurts Lexa.

* * *

Clarke covered her mouth with her hand while Lexa continued to kneel, gently holding Clarke's other hand - her eyes never leaving the blonde's. "Is this for real?"

Lexa smiled shyly. "Yes Clarke, this is real." She waited.

Clarke felt as if her body had a mind all it's own; her palms were sweaty and her heart pounded so hard, she was sure Lexa could hear it. Every part of her felt alive - even her toes tingled. She had thought they would get here, just not so soon. Not - _right now_.

Lexa waited - watching the emotions play across Clarke's face. She was sure she knew the answer and waited patiently for Clarke to compose herself.

Clarke swallowed hard and looked at the girl before her - her heart wanted to give in, but her head demanded more information.

"Have you been married before?" What she really wanted to say was, _were you and Costia married_?

Lexa was not surprised, she had figured the Sky Princess would ask at some point. She kept her eyes trained on Clarke and gently shook her head. "No," she replied softly.

Lexa and Costia had had a different relationship than she and Clarke did. Not that she wouldn't have married Costia _eventually_ , but Costia was a member of her own clan and there had been no resistance to them being together. Clarke was another story.

Clarke's eyes were wild, her pupils blown, as she continued to look into Lexa's sparkling green eyes. She bit her lip and gasped - she could lose herself in those eyes forever.

"Yes," she said, pulling Lexa to her feet and kissing her passionately. "Yes. _Yes_ \- a thousand times yes."

As Clarke kissed her neck, Lexa suddenly growled roughly, throwing Clarke hard onto the ground and drawing her sword. They were not alone.

Clarke gasped in horror when she saw what had caused Lexa to make that noise - an arrow poked its way through her right shoulder. The wound seeped with what looked like tar. "Lexa! Oh my god, Lexa!"

"Stay down," she hissed, keeping Clarke on the ground with her knee near a large stump, eyes scanning the area.

"You're hurt," Clarke protested. "That arrow had some kind of black substance on it - poison?"

"It's fine." Lexa used her left hand to break the tip of the arrow so she could pull it through the wound.

Clarke stopped her "No - that could put you in more danger."

Lexa groaned as she gritted her teeth and swiftly yanked the arrow from her body. Clarke watched in horror as more of the black substance leaked from Lexa's wound. "Stay here," Lexa ordered, pointing to a small hole under the stump. "You'll be safe."

"What about you?" Clarke asked, terrified that Lexa wound was serious.

"I'll be right ba—" Lexa's eyes welled up with pain as another arrow hit her in the back, it's triangular head cruelly pointing out of Lexa's stomach.

She tried to push Clarke down, but she was becoming weaker by the second. "Stay here," she ordered, but Clarke had already grabbed her sword and was advancing on their attacker. A girl who wore white war paint.

* * *

"But," Abby continued. "How can they be together when we are all from different _clans_?" The word felt silly on Abby's tongue, but that was the term she had heard the grounders use.

"She is the Commander," Indra calmly explained. "She has the right to take a spouse - no matter where they come from."

Abby laughed, surely Indra was joking. "Married? They have to get married if they even want to -- to _date_?" Grounder laws were bizarre.

"Yes. Being that your daughter is Skaikru - the only way our people would accept the union would be for them to marry."

"Fat chance of that happening," Abby said under her breath. _Clarke would never marry Lexa._

* * *

Clarke scrambled up the hill, hot on the trail of the girl who was now retreating. Lexa could see her from where she lay, bleeding and gasping for breath.

"Clarke!" She yelled. "Eleven o'clock!"

Clarke immediately took cover behind a tree as an arrow whizzed past her. Ok, they could do this. Together they would be ok.

"Six o'clock!" Lexa's voice boomed.

Clarke spun around just in time to avoid the knife being thrust in her direction. She bent her knee and brought it up into the girl's side, causing her to stumble. The girl rolled onto her back to reload her bow -- pointing an arrow right at Clarke.

"Clarke, duck!" Lexa shouted. She watched in horror as Clarke threw herself onto the ground, narrowly missing an arrow to the chest. "The knife!" She shouted as Clarke wrestled on the ground with their assailant.

She was about to shout _knife_ again when she saw Clarke reach for the dagger. She watched as if in slow motion as they continued to struggle. Clarke raised the dagger above her head, and with an angry cry, she plunged the blade deeply into the girl's chest. Lexa watched as Clarke stabbed the girl over and over - crying out each time she did so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who shows me comment love. :)


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

"Clarke." Lexa's voice was low and calm as she dragged her wounded body across the forest floor. "Clarke stop."

Clarke was covered in dirt and blood as she kneeled, sobbing over the girl's battered body, plunging the knife in again and again.

Lexa finally made her way across the clearing and crawled close to Clarke, stilling both of her hands. "It's ok," she whispered into soft, blonde hair. "It's ok. I'm here."

* * *

With all this talk about marriage, Indra had a nagging suspicion that she knew where the Commander and the sky girl had gone. She knew the Commander would eventually wed the girl, and given her mother's obvious dislike of the situation, it would be just like _Lexa_ to fix the problem sooner rather than later.

It was early enough that they could afford to take the detour. Plus, Abby would probably enjoy seeing the butterflies if she was mistaken.

"We will take this trail instead." Indra motioned for Abby to follow.

* * *

Lexa had pulled Clarke off the girl and they lay tangled together on the forest floor - Clarke sobbing violently into Lexa's neck.

Lexa groaned in pain as she sat up. "Listen to me, Clarke." She struggled for breath. "You need to take my sword and get back to the horse."

Upon seeing Lexa's condition, Clarke snapped back to reality. "I'm not leaving you here." She immediately went into triage mode - pulling up Lexa's shirt to scan her wounds. The wound to the shoulder would be fine - it was already clotting around the black substance that made her so worried.

It was Lexa's gut wound that had Clarke worried to death. The jagged head of the arrow poked obscenely out of Lexa's side. The wound oozed with a thick, black substance but strangely, no blood. "I think you've been poisoned - there's a black substance all over the arrows," she said, scrutinizing the injury.

"Clarke, I have not been poisoned. I am a Nightblood." Lexa explained through clenched teeth. "And I will be fine - please Clarke, I beg of you." Green eyes pleaded with blue. "I _command_ you - leave me here."

"You don't _command_ me, remember?" She cut the arrow head off with the knife - wondering if it might be ok to remove. "And I also remember something about you asking me to be your equal? I will not leave here without you, Lexa."

* * *

Abby scanned the trees and not seeing anything even remotely familiar, she turned to the grounder in mock accusation. "Indra, this is not the way back to camp."

Indra simply smiled. "This is something you will like." She knew Abby wouldn't necessarily like the fact that Lexa had brought Clarke here to propose marriage, but she would, no doubt, enjoy the butterflies and meeting the tattoo artist who lived beneath that great big tree. "It's only a little further."

* * *

Clarke had removed the arrow from Lexa's gut, but was immediately sorry she had done so - it began to bleed even more. Lexa was fading fast, Clarke could see the signs of distress in her: she was pale, her breathing shallow and she shook uncontrollably.

Clarke had to keep it together - but all she felt was panic inside as she watched the woman she loved, lying on the ground in a pool of black blood. A woman who tried desperately to convince Clarke to leave her behind and save herself.

Clarke suddenly remembered the radio. She raced to Lexa's pack, dumping it out onto the ground as she reached for the it.

"Chancellor Grffin," she began, hoping against hope that her mother was listening. "Mom, come in Mom - we're in trouble."

* * *

Abby and Indra rode into the forest where the sunlight begun fade. The trees were so beautiful and majestic -- Abby felt herself smiling despite her worries about Clarke.

As they rode further into the dark forest, Indra pointed out a small door at the base of a gigantic tree. "What is it?" Abby asked.

"A tattooist resides here - she provides a sacred service to our people. When two people marry, they come here to get branded, or tattooed together."

Before she could reply, Abby heard the familiar crackle of the radio. "Mom, we're in trouble."

She reached into her bag and immediately depressed the button. "Clarke, I'm here. Are you all right?"

"Mom," came the sobbing voice, "Lexa's hurt really bad."

* * *

The voice that responded was not Abby's. "Clarke, did you see the butterflies?"

She gasped in relief, Indra knew where they were. "Yes," she replied quickly, "I see them now."

"Stay there," Indra commanded. "We are only minutes away."

Lexa groaned and closed her eyes against the pain but then exhaled in relief. _Indra, bless her_. Indra had known where they were headed and the general would arrive in time to save Clarke. She laid her head gently on the Sky Princess's knee. "I wish I would have stayed alive long enough to marry you, Clarke."

Clarke choked back her sobs. "You're going to be ok, baby." She ran her fingers over Lexa's sweaty brow. "We're gonna get married."

"Clarke," it was becoming difficult to speak as blood filled her mouth. "Clarke, listen to Indra. You can trust her." Black blood began to trickle down Lexa's chin and neck. Her voice was becoming weaker. "I love you, Clarke kom Skaikru."

"Lexa, save your strength, stop talking." Sobs wracked the blonde's body as she held Lexa tightly in her arms, praying for a miracle.

"Clarke, I'm so cold," she began again, struggling to stay conscious. "Out of everyone, Clarke-" her body shook uncontrollably as blood poured from her mouth. "Out of everyone, I loved you the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: I don't know who it was, but another writer made reference to being "grounder married" and tattooing in one fic. I just can't remember who it was. Wanted to give them credit.  
> Thanks.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets drugged and things get weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have taken the liberty of adding other well known fictional characters outside the 100 fandom to this story. You'll either care or you won't, but I wanted to acknowledge.

When Clarke saw her mother and Indra approaching, she lost it completely. "Mom!" she ran to meet the pair and grabbed her mother's hand, dragging her towards Lexa's body lying still on the forest floor.

Abby grabbed her pack of supplies and raced to Lexa's side. She became Dr. Griffin. "Was she shot?" She placed her fingers on Lexa's neck, feeling for a pulse. Her heart was beating and she was still breathing, but just barely.

"We were attacked," Clarke said, rushing over to where Lexa lay, but Indra caught her, holding her back. "They were arrows, we removed them."

Clarke struggled in Indra's grasp, but the grounder held fast. "Let your mother do her job, Heda is stronger than you think."

Despite Indra's soothing, Clarke fought harder. She screeched and thrashed like a wild animal caught in a trap and sobbed harder than Abby had ever seen her do.

While Abby quickly decided on the best course of action, Lexa floated in and out of consciousness; she grabbed Abby's arm and winced as she tried to speak. "Leave me here and get Clarke to safety." Blood bubbled from her mouth.

"I am not leaving you!" Clarke wailed and tried to get to Lexa, but Indra tightened her hold. "Mom, please," she cried, "help her!"

Abby assessed Lexa's injuries with a furrowed brow. Her wounds needed to be cleaned and sutured immediately and she had lost a lot of blood. Abby knew about Lexa's dark blood from an earlier conversation with Indra and she had already begun to formulate a theory, but this was no time for curiosity or questions.

She ran her open palm over Lexa's damp forehead. "Are you in pain, honey?" She asked gently.

Lexa nodded and motioned to Clarke. "Leave me," she wheezed. "Indra," she shouted, flecks of blood flying, "take Clarke and go." She winced again, "I order you - leave me now."

Indra and Abby exchanged a look. _See_? Indra's eyes seemed to say.

Clarke violently struggled, but Indra held her back. When Indra didn't move, Lexa spoke up again, anger winning out over the pain. "Indra!" She thundered. "I gave you an order! Do you _defy_ me?!?"

Indra bowed her head slightly. "Yes, Heda - I do."

* * *

 Abby and Indra quickly went to work assembling a makeshift platform out of saplings and twine on which they could carry Lexa. Clarke stayed with her, holding her her hand and whispering promises that everything would be alright. Each time Clarke's eyes refocused on Lexa - so bloody and so weak - she felt the shock of it all over again and cried harder.

It had been such a perfect moment. Lexa had gotten down on one knee, pledged her undying love and they were going to be married - and now, Clarke didn't know if Lexa would even make it. The realization shook her to her very foundation. She doubled over - suddenly nauseous. She quickly turned away and was violently ill, vomiting between sobs that shook her entire body.

Abby and Indra had managed to build a crude gurney out of twigs and saplings and made their way back to where Clarke was getting sick. When she caught sight of her daughter, red eyed, lip quivering and wracked with dry heaves, it hit her. She _had_ seen Clarke like this once before - when her father was floated. She had been broken. At the realization, something tugged hard on Abby's heart. It was plain to see - _Clarke really loved this girl_.

Amongst Lexa's protests that she repeated over and over like a mantra - _leave_ _me, save Clarke_ \- Abby and Indra were able to gently hoist her small frame onto their homemade stretcher. Indra told Abby that the tattooist had running water and would help them, so they took off in that direction. Abby and Indra held onto the stretcher while Clarke walked beside Lexa - bawling and never letting go of her hand.

Abby had never seen her daughter lose her head quite like this - this was even worse than when her father died. It was clearly evident to Abby that Clarke was devastated. Someone she loved dearly was in a life or death situation - the outcome of which rested squarely on the shoulders of her mother.

Abby was beginning to grow more concerned as they walked. Her wounds would probably be ok, but she worried that Lexa might suddenly stop breathing. She rambled on intermittently - pleas and orders about leaving her and saving Clarke, but every few minutes or so, she would close her eyes and lie still, which worried Abby greatly. "Lexa, open your eyes!" Abby shouted, jostling the makeshift stretcher.

Lexa looked up and slightly rolled her eyes back, looking to see Abby's face upside down, but the sun was behind her - all she could see was a silhouette. "You look like Indra," she laughed, new droplets of black blood sputtering out of her mouth.

Lexa intermittently murmured things like:

"indra, taim yu nou bants me en save klark, ai'll tel kru yu like em in the baxk dor!"

But nobody paid attention - Abby was certain she was in shock.

Clarke was a wreck - emotionally and physically. Everything she wore was covered in dirt or blood or both. Her hands were stained with a mixture of Lexa's blood, her own and that of the girl who had attacked them. But Abby didn't know that.

"Clarke, where are you hurt?" She scanned her daughter for injuries as she walked beside Lexa.

"I'm not. Can we please go faster?"

"You're covered in blood."

"It's Lexa's," Clarke lied.

"Honey, Lexa's blood isn't that _color_." Abby narrowed her eyes and exhaled. "If you're hurt, you need to tell me, it won't take any of my efforts away from Lexa."

"I'm not hurt mom, let's just please hurry."

Pointing to herself exaggeratedly, Lexa muttered, "I killed azgeda warrior, and that's what happened."

Abby looked from her daughter to Lexa with suspicious eyes. Lexa was clearly delirious from the shock and blood loss, but Clarke wasn't. "What happened?" She asked pointedly

Clarke took a deep breath."Someone tried to kill us, mom. I had to." She said the words quickly and matter-of-factly. (I know that's not really a word).

Abby was slowly beginning to realize that her daughter wasn't a child anymore. She was still Clarke, but she was so - Abby couldn't think of the right word. But she was strong and sure and evolved. She was powerful and persuasive and smart. Aggressive when the situation demanded - a force really. She hadn't seen any of these sides of her daughter in space - there would have been no reason for them to come to the surface. In fact, these were personality traits that would have likely gotten her floated.

"I'm glad you're ok." Abby looked over at her daughter with something akin to pride. She knew Clarke could hold her own, but she still wanted to comfort her. Her eyes were so red and she looked so sad. "Lexa's gonna be ok too." She looked into Clarke's tearful eyes reassuringly. "Do you hear me?"

Clarke sniffed. "Thanks, mom."

Abby looked down at Lexa and smiled. "Do you _hear_ me?"

"Yes I do, mother of Clarke kom Skaikru." She said it in such a formal way that Clarke burst into laughter. She felt awful but the giggles just wouldn't stop. Indra glared back at her, but when she saw the Commander's smile as she looked up at the sky girl, she softened completely. They were happy. _No way was she going ever to get between that. No thank you._

* * *

Just as the high afternoon sun began making its way through the trees, they reached the place. A grey haired woman with an intricate face tattoo answered and showed them in. Indra and Abby carried Lexa inside and Clarke followed. The place was amazing. Cozy but spacious with a large kitchen surrounded by other rooms which were further divided by ornately carved wooden arches and columns. Clarke would have never imagined something like this existed underneath a tree.

In the middle of the kitchen burned a large fire around which chairs and a sofa sat. Indra motioned for Clarke to sit as she and Abby brought Lexa into another room, but Clarke declined and continued to follow.

They brought her into a bright, sterile looking room where a heavily inked younger woman sat, bent over in concentration as she tattooed a very old man who laid on one of a few tables.

They began to lower Lexa onto a table, but the woman spoke up. "Not there." She rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. "There's fine," she motioned with her chin, not looking up. "And don't leave me a big mess to clean up."

Indra had done a double take when she heard the girl speak, but remained quiet.

The grey haired women introduced herself to Clarke and Abby as Willa - she and Indra seemed to be aquatinted. "Sorry about my apprentice, she's salty." She grinned and patted the table. "Put her here."

She turned to Abby. "Everything I got is sterilized and you're welcome to it. You just let me know what I can do to help."

"Willa has been a friend for many years," Indra said as she and Abby transferred Lexa onto the table.

Abby began cutting away at Lexa's shirt with scissors. After putting on gloves, she washed the wounds with iodine. _The girl had been lucky_ , Abby thought. Quarter of an inch lower and she would have bled to death in minutes. But Lexa wasn't out of the woods yet. She had a pretty serious gash in her abdomen and a lesser one in her shoulder. And she was still so feverish, Abby worried about infection.

Abby turned to Clarke. "Bring my kit."

Abby instructed Clarke to inject Lexa with a painkiller. Lexa's eyes widened in curiosity as Clarke brought the needle near. "It's a shot," she explained. "It'll make you feel better."

Lexa closed her eyes and smirked, humming quietly.

"What is so funny?" Abby wanted to know right as Clarke gave her the shot.

"Your daughter." Lexa smiled but tried not to. "Your daughter says the strangest things." She tried in ernest not to laugh, but failed miserably.

Abby watched as Clarke nuzzled her face into Lexa's neck, both girls giggling happily. She smiled. It was hard not to.

"Get your gloves on and assist ." She motioned Clarke to the other side of the table. "I need to get this one sutured right away. Where's Indra?"

Clarke looked around, Indra was nowhere to be found, neither was Willa.

"I'll go get her." Clarke got to her feet.

"You need something?" It was the woman from across the room.

"Yes. Indra said she would show me how the cautery worked." Abby called over.

"Be there in a sec." The woman peeled off her gloves and walked over. She was short, but her body was sleek and strong. She moved gracefully and fluidly, like a dancer or snake. Tattoos curled up and around both forearms and well defined biceps, disappearing underneath the tight black tank she wore. Her magnificent Raven colored hair hung loosely braided down her back like a mane. There was a simple tribal tattoo that covered the left side of her face, but it didn't detract from her natural beauty. She was stunning.

 _Wow_. Thought Clarke. She might be head over heels in love with Lexa but she wasn't blind.

"Sammy." Lexa smiled and tried to reach her arm out, wincing in the process. Clarke's head whipped around to look at her.

"Lex- _Commander!_ " Clarke snapped her head up to the woman whose eyes had widened, obviously shocked. The woman bowed. "Commander," she cleared her throat and turned to Abby. "How can I help?"

"I need help with this, I'm not sure how these work." Abby motioned to the machine.

"You two know each other?" Clarke looked from Lexa to the woman.

"Yes we-" Lexa said, woozy and feeling no pain thanks to the strong painkiller.

"-know each other from Polis," the girl explained. "I used to live there, a long time ago."

Lexa muttered something under her breath and tried to reach for the woman again - pain ripping through her side as she stretched.

Clarke's brow was lined in confusion. She didn't even know what questions to ask.

"More pain meds, Clarke," Abby ordered.

She quickly drew up 5ml of the medication and tied a tourniquet around Lexa's bicep, searching for a vein while the woman explained the machine to Abby. She inserted the needle just as the woman got up and left the room.

Lexa sighed in relief as the medicine did it's job. Clarke looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Know her well?"

Lexa nodded her head and drifted out of consciousness again.

Just then Willa came into the room. "Have everything you need?"

Abby nodded. "We're so lucky you were nearby. And I can't believe you have running water."

"My grand daddy built all this. He was born right after the blast and he and my granny made a home here. She started doing tattoos here for couples wanting to marry almost 50 years ago, and then my mother took it over. And now I do it." She added, "and when I'm gone Sameen will be here." She gestured to where the younger woman had sat.

"What do you mean people who want to marry? What happens when they do?" Clarke looked over at Lexa who still had her eyes closed.

Willa explained. "As far back as pretty much anyone can remember, it's been part of the marriage ritual for the couple to bear the same mark. And we are the only ones for miles and miles who do it, so we get to see lots of interesting characters." She grinned and raised her eyebrows.

"Are the butterflies part of it?" Clarke scrunched up her eyebrows.

"Shh, Clarke." Lexa mumbled.

An angry voice sounded outside in the hallway and got louder as the body to which it was attached approached. "You went there alone?" Sameen scowled and shook her head. "What we're you _thinking_ Lex- _Commander_ , ice nation is all over that place?!"

All eyes were on Lexa who looked up at Abby and groaned dramatically. Abby didn't miss a beat. "Thanks for your help, but I've got to attend to the Commander's wounds." She all but shoed the woman away which made Lexa relax.

* * *

Abby and Clarke spent the next 45 minutes cleaning, suturing and bandaging Lexa's wounds. She would survive the injuries but Abby still worried. Lexa's had lost so much blood - she feared her organs might fail if she didn't get fluid or blood or both. Part of her was almost willing to risk an against type transfusion in the field but she couldn't even begin to guess about why Lexa's blood was black. She suspected radiation poisoning when India told her about it. But Lexa was the picture of health; full of strength and vigor, which didn't really fit the theory.

She bent over Lexa, feeling for her arterial pulse. "Lexa, I'm going back to camp with Indra and we will send riders immediately. I want you in camp Jaha as soon as possible. We need to figure out how to get you a blood transfusion."

Indra came in. "Abby, may we speak in private?" Abby rose to meet Indra our in the hall.

Lexa lay still while Clarke held tightly onto her hand. Clarke looked terrible. She had stopped crying, but her eyes remained red and swollen - her face was bruised and battered - they both looked like they had been in a war. Lexa's heart ached for Clarke as she simultaneously beat herself up for putting her in danger to begin with.

While the drug dulled the pain, it made her weak and emotional. Her head felt all wrong - she couldn't seem to summon the Commander and Lexa's usually dependable, rational mind seemed to collapse in on itself. She felt so raw - defenseless against any emotion.

It was true, the ice nation did hunt near there, although she had never seen them this far north. She had foolishly made herself and Clarke vulnerable to an attack. She had made a grave error in judgement : for during those few gorgeous moments with Clarke, she hadn't been watching. And that's when it happened. Did her love for Clarke make her _fallible_? She struggled with that and then seeing Sameen again on top of it all - it had cracked her heart right open.

"Hey." Clarke squeezed her hand. "Still with me?"

"Clarke," she clenched her jaw, trying to hold in the tears. "I beg of you, go back with you mother. I have put you in grave danger. I never meant for you to-"

Clarke didn't bother to let her finish.

"-when you were hurt like that, on the ground. Something came over me, Lexa." She held both palms to her face. " I've never felt _anything_ like it. It was pure instinct and adrenaline - like when mothers get super human strength and lift heavy objects off of babies?"

Lexa frowned. "Do you think of me as a baby, Clarke?"

"No, but I might want some babies in the future." Clarke smiled, kissing Lexa's forehead. "How would you feel about that?"

"Feel about what" Abby asked as she and Indra returned. Both Lexa and Clarke blushed.

"Nothing." Clarke got up quickly and came to stand near Indra and her mother. "When are you leaving?"

"It's too risky to move her. We're going to spend the night here and ride back in the morning." She put an arm around Clarke, her voice becoming softer. "Why don't you go in the other room and get some rest? You must be exhausted."

"She needs blood, Mom. You have to go now."

"We're going to do a transfusion here." Her voice sounding somewhat tentative, she gestured towards the hallway. "Sameen has blood like Lexa's."

_o shit shit shit_

"That's a good thing, right?" She looked expectantly from Abby to Indra.

Abby put an arm around her shoulder. "Absolutely."

* * *

After Indra had sworn Abby to secrecy, she explained. It turned out that the girl had been born a Nightblood. Just like Lexa, she had grown up in Polis and was mentored at the foot of the then Commander. She was older than Lexa, but the two had laughed and played and fought alongside each other for many years as young Nightbloods.

They grew inseparable. So much so that people always commented whenever they caught a glimpse of one without the other firmly in tow; it was so rare. They were always together and merrily endured the jokes of being joined at the hip and stupid questions like, _where's your other half_?

When Lexa became Commander, to no one's surprise, she kept Sameen by her side as one of her closest advisors. Behind closed doors it was nearly always to her that Lexa turned for guidance and assistance with planning and strategy. Much of Lexa's stoicism was her own, but much of her modus operandi had been inspired and shaped by Sameen. She was also the only one Lexa would allow near her when Costia was killed.

Abby listened in horror as Indra briefly explained what had happened to Costia. It was Sameen who nursed Lexa through the crippling pain of Costia's death.

It was a fascinating story, but Abby wondered why Indra had made it sound so dire. "Ok?" She turned her palms outward and looked at Indra expectantly. "And?"

"You must swear your secrecy." Indra looked at her solemnly.

"Yes, I promise."

When Lexa had been Commander for only two years, Sameen had been caught freeing a prisoner awaiting execution - someone she loved. The woman had managed to escape and the people were out for blood. It was quietly rumored amongst some of the generals and ambassadors that the Commander had looked the other way.

She was found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by hanging. The Commander met in secret with Indra and Titus and instructed them to hang someone else for the crime. Both Indra and Titus had been fond of the girl, but they could be killed just as easily for their own crimes.

But they had done it. In front hundreds of people, they imposed a death sentence upon an equally guilty, _but not of this crime_ , prisoner. With the hood over her head, no one suspected a thing. The crime had been avenged.

Indra had thrown Sameen into a cart and covered her with supplies and blankets. As the crowd watched the imposter be put to death, she rode 8 hours north. She dumped the supplies and rode back to Polis immediately. Never looking back or imagining she'd see _that_ face again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angsty fun for the whole family.

Clarke returned to Lexa's side - blowing on her cold hands to warm them. Lexa briefly opened her eyes and looked up adoringly. _Clarke was so beautiful_.

"Good news," she began lightly. "Your _friend_ has blood like yours. But you already knew that, didn't you?" She looked at Lexa, who immediately shut her eyes.

Clarke should have been thrilled about the coincidence, and she was. _Truly_. But she also had a feeling that she just couldn't shake. Now was not the time, but she pushed anyway.

"Who is she?"

Lexa was plagued by guilt. She didn't want to hide anything from Clarke, but this knowledge was too simply too dangerous for her to carry. It could put her very life in danger.

"A childhood friend." She said simply, her voice calm despite the pounding of her heart.

"She seems like a lot more than that." She looked at Lexa pointedly who suddenly had difficulty maintaining eye contact.

When Lexa didn't answer right away, Clarke's mind went into overdrive. _Lexa was hiding something - she could feel it._

Despite her better judgment, she reveals her biggest fear and she hates herself for it. "Were you two - _together_?"

A flash of green assaults Clarke as Lexa's eyes fly open. "No, never."

Just then Abby returned with Indra, who asked Clarke to come with her. Clarke turned to her mother, defiant. "I'm staying here."

Abby understood, but was firm. "Go with Indra honey, we need to keep this room as sterile as possible for the procedure."

Given the logic of the request, Clarke wasn't going to argue, but neither was she happy about giving up her position at Lexa's side. Especially right now. She bent down to kiss Lexa's cheek. "Would you tell me if there was something between you two?" She whispered close so only Lexa could hear.

She looked Clarke directly in the eye. "There isn't." Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand. "I _promise_."

The tightness in her chest relaxed. _Lexa wouldn't lie to her_. She let herself be led away by Indra, but not before whispering in a loud voice. "I love you."

Lexa smiled. _How did she get so lucky_?

Indra led Clarke into another part of the tree where there was food and a and a nice warm fire. She would hang out here for an hour or so while Abby treated Lexa. She felt hopeful as she sat in front of the fire and dozed off.

* * *

"Just sit there and I'll get you set up." Abby pointed Sameen to a chair next to where Lexa lay. The tattooist's apprentice was sarcastic and more than a little grumpy, but she was also bright and quick - _and really quite attractive_. Abby couldn't take her eyes off the other woman. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She went off down the corridor in search of the right supplies.

When the room was clear, Lexa opened her eyes and finally looked properly at her old friend. Gazing into those familiar dark eyes, her breath caught in her throat. She held out her hand and the other woman took it, bringing Lexa's palm up to her lips. "I can't believe you're here," Lexa whispered.

The woman cracked a grin. _Still charming as ever_. "Lucky for you, asshole."

They pulled their hands apart when Abby's footsteps approached. Sameen unsubtly gave Abby the once over as she walked towards them, her lip curling up slightly.

Never one to miss much, Abby looked pointedly at Sameen. "Is there _any_ part of you that isn't covered in tattoos?"

Sameen smirked. "Plenty of places." She winked. Actually winked at Abby.

Lexa knew her friend well enough that she gave her a threatening glare. Her message loud and clear. _Don't even try_.

Sameen knew her friend well enough to ignore the fuck out of her; she continued to give Abby what Lexa and Anya had dubbed: "The Look."

* * *

Ever since they had been children, people had flocked to Sameen. The girl was a magnet. She had so much charisma, so much confidence -- she was also incredibly clever not to mention _gorgeous_. She had been Lexa's first crush as a kid, and left plenty of broken hearts in her wake. Both boys and girls - Sammy (as Lexa called her), didn't discriminate and could seemingly walk away from her romantic liaisons with no more that a second glance. That all changed around the time Lexa became Commander.

There had been woman from a neighboring tribe. A con-artist and a thief - someone the people called a 'hacker'. A lone wolf who survived on her own. She had been wanted for many months, each time eluding capture when Sameen happened upon her camp while out riding on her own one evening. She easily sneaked up on the criminal as she slept - almost too easily. She grinned to herself as she made her way into the sleeping woman's tent - dagger drawn.

Moments later she was flat on her back; all the breath knocked from her lungs. _A booby trap - she should have known_. She struggled for air as she looked up into the most annoying face she had ever seen.

Sameen was held hostage for two days and somehow, by the end of it, she found herself powerless to resist the woman's considerable charms. For months afterwards she snuck out of the city when she could to spend time with the her. Sameen loved her, but she could never utter the words.

When the hacker was arrested, Sameen had risked everything to save her; her friendship with Lexa, her position within the cabinet - _everything_. She may not have been able to express her feelings, but she certainly would never have let her lover hang. Not when she could so easily do something about it.

And she had been caught. Lexa was forced to publicly sentence her best friend to death. It had been one of the most difficult decisions she had ever made being that she was still uncertain of Titus and Indra's help.

Since then Lexa had not so much as uttered her name. She had locked the memories of her childhood friend away into the furthest recesses of her mind - never imagining that someday they would lay eyes on each other again.

* * *

Abby motioned to Sameen. "Take off your shirt and lay down."

Sameen smirked and expertly raised one eyebrow. _Mmm, hot and bossy_. She complied, removing her shirt to expose more of her beautiful, toned body and washboard abs. She laid back onto the table, arms crossed behind her head. She smiled up at Abby like the cat who swallowed the canary. "I'm all yours," she said.

Lexa didn't miss the sparks flying between the two. She threw her friend another venomous look: _cut it out_.

As Abby gently probed Sameen for a suitable vein, she had to clench her teeth to remain professional. Whatever this girl seemed to be selling, Abby was _definitely_ in the market. She didn't want to be, but the woman's effect was almost overpowering. She had to do this quickly and get the hell out of this crazy tree.

"Ok," she said, her voice husky. "This should do it." She inserted the catheter into Sameen's soft, supple skin and then turned to Lexa, who even in her inebriated state recognized the look.

_Could this trip become any more bizarre?_

Abby feigned non-chalance as she probed Lexa's arm for a good, stable vein. She found one easily and deftly slid the needle in. Lexa motioned for Abby to come closer, as she did so, she whispered. "Please take Clarke and go."

"Clarke's fine where she is, honey. We won't leave until you're stable."

Sameen shot Lexa a look - knowing full well why she wanted the doctor to leave.

Abby inserted the tubes and excused herself. "I'll be back in about twenty minutes." She patted Lexa on the head as she left.

* * *

"I thought blondie was more your type?" She smirked and looked over at her serious little friend.

"Obviously Sam, but that's her mother." Lexa looked over at _her_ incorrigible friend. "And she doesn't like girls."

"Beg to differ with ya, Lekkie." _Sameen was dyed-in-the-wool stubborn_. "Did you happen to miss the way she undressed me with her eyes?"

Lexa exhaled loudly. Feeling much more like herself the more Sameen's blood circulated into her veins, she laughed despite the strange circumstance. "Just keep your hands to yourself."

* * *

Abby found Clarke asleep on the sofa. She sat in a small armchair opposite the fire and looked at her daughter. _The poor kid had been through so much._

Sensing someone else in the room, Clarke stirred. She looked up into her mother's dark eyes. "Were you watching me sleep?" She smiled a smile that went straight to Abby's heart.

She smiled at her daughter. "She's gonna be fine, honey."

Hearing the obvious care and concern in her mother's voice, Clarke's heart overflowed with love. She rolled off the couch and into her mother's arms, sobbing in gratitude. "Thank you so much, Mom

* * *

"So what's the deal?" Sameen asked. "You didn't bring her here to _marry_ you, did you?"

Lexa was in no condition to hide her blush - not that she had ever been able to hide from Sameen. "Yeah."

Sameen put her hands over her face. "What the hell? Last time I saw you, you vowed never to love again and now you're bringing some Skaikru _prisa_ here?!? You wouldn't even marry Cost-"

"-don't you dare," Lexa warned.

"Fine, but what I'm saying is-"

"-I know what you're saying." Lexa's voice hardened, "and I don't want to hear it."

* * *

"You promise she's gonna be ok?" Clarke looked up at her mother.

"She's going to be fine, Clarke." She soothed

"I love her so much, Mom." She laid her head on Abby's shoulder.

"I know you do."

Clarke was obviously relieved but Abby could sense something else bothering her. She waited, knowing from experience that if something was eating at Clarke, she would usually spill. She didn't have to wait long. She was however, surprised to hear that the same person who dominated _her_ thoughts, ruled her daughter's head as well.

"What do you think of Sameen?"

The question unnerved her more than it should have. "Uh, I guess she's ok," she said, looking at Clarke sideways.

Clarke was too wrapped up in her own problems to notice her mother's strange behavior. "Yeah but, her and _Lexa_?"

 _Clarke was jealous_. Abby smiled and put her arms around her daughter. Given the way Sameen had looked at _her_ , Abby was certain she could soothe Clarke's fears. "I think they're just good friends, honey."

"You sure?"

Abby held her daughter tightly. "Fairly sure, but I think this is a conversation you need to have with Lexa."

"Can I go see her?" Abby was reminded of a hopeful, 7 year old Clarke who had begged for a pet fish - despite the impossibility of the request.

She gave in, smiling. "Yes, but stay in the doorway - I don't want any contamination in there."

"Thanks Mom." She bounded down the corridor, feeling utterly silly for ever doubting Lexa in the first place

* * *

"The people won't accept her unless you're married, eh?" Sameen had always been able to read Lexa.

Lexa nodded, shutting her eyes against the tears that threatened to break free.

She looked over at her usually stoic friend and her heart softened. "You really love her." It wasn't a question.

Lexa nodded again, struggling to maintain composure. "I have to keep her out of this, Sammy."

Sameen rolled towards Lexa, taking her face in her hands. "Ok." She kissed Lexa's left cheek, then her right, her forehead and finally her mouth. "She will never know."

Lexa threaded her arm around her friend that she had missed so much. "I love you, Sammy."

* * *

"You ask me to _marry_ you and three hours later you're making out with someone else!?!?!" Clarke shrieked like a woman possessed.

Abby and Indra heard the shouting and came running as a blur of blonde raced past them in the corridor. Abby's head followed Clarke's movements until a loud clatter and clang rang out from the operating room. Lexa came charging out into the hallway, black blood spurting from the tube in her arm.

Abby rushed to Lexa's side. She was still weak and wobbled on her feet. "Hey, _hey_ ," Abby soothed as Indra caught Lexa in her arms. "What happened?"

Before Lexa went down she grabbed onto Abby's arm, panic filled her eyes. "Stop her," she breathed. "You have to stop Clarke." 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell hath no fury ~ and other bedtime stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This draft is rough, will edit for mistakes when time permits.

_I fucking knew it._

Clarke felt as if she had swallowed gasoline and lit a match. She seethed as she violently yanked on her jacket and headed towards the door.

"Clarke, stop!" It was Abby, her voice strained.

She ran forward and caught Clarke by the collar just as the girl raced towards the exit. Arms flailed and hands grasped until Clarke stopped fighting completely and slumped heavily to the ground.

Abby lowered herself to the floor and wrapped her arms around her sobbing daughter.

* * *

"The fuck?" Sameen scowled as she put pressure on her arm where Lexa had ripped out the tubing. They were both covered in the tar of their own blood.

Indra held onto Lexa who had collapsed after trying to chase Clarke. She half carried, half dragged her over to the exam table where Sameen helped hoist her up.

While Indra covered the Commander with a blanket she glared at Sameen - _this was all her fault_. "What happened?" She demanded.

"Blondie freaked out is what happened."

* * *

Clarke sobbed in her mother's arms, feeling like such a fool. _How could she have been so stupid to think that she could ever trust Lexa? Lexa and the Commander were one and the same. Both were ruthless and cunning - both would say or do anything to get what they wanted at any given moment._

She pounded the floor with her fist over and over again until Abby stopped her for fear she would bleed.

_What had she been thinking? There would never be any equality between them. Lexa was worshipped like a god by her people; she was arrogant and cavalier. It was painfully obvious - Lexa wanted to keep Clarke but she also wanted to play the field. She would take what she wanted when she wanted it and would expect Clarke to forgive her because she was Heda. And because Clarke's feelings were so strong. Oh god, she wanted to die._

Clarke wailed - feral sounds that nearly shattered Abby's heart. 

* * *

Indra was livid and about _this_ close from killing Sameen outright. Her voice was low and menacing. "You _will_ show your respect."

She didn't much like taking orders, but had enough sense to recognize when Indra was serious. She lowered her eyes, trademark smirk suddenly gone.

Indra spoke again, easier this time. "What did the girl see?"

Lexa shook herself awake with a gasp, her eyes wide and panicked. Recovering composure quickly, she turned to Indra. "Detain her." Her chin pointed at Sameen.

Indra immediately grabbed a pair of shackles from her pouch and fastened them around the indignant woman's wrists. She looked to the Commander.

"Get her out of my sight," Lexa spat.

Sam didn't fight as she had witnessed Lexa's moods before. She was too smart to say anything as Indra roughly led her from the room.

Lexa sighed and briefly sank into the table. _This had become a nightmare._

* * *

Clarke moaned and wailed. Abby wasn't certain what had happened, but she knew it had something to do with Lexa's old friend, Sameen. She was still in denial about hearing Clarke shout the word _marry_. She shifted and tried to peel Clarke off of her lap so she could look at her.

When Clarke simply held on tighter, Abby let her. "Clarke honey, they're just friends." She rubbed her daughter's back. "They have a complicated history, but Lexa loves you."

 _Wait a minute_. Clarke abruptly pulled back and looked at Abby, her brow made a sharp v. "How do you know?"

"Indra told me, it's kind of a heavy secret which is probably why Lexa hasn't told you."

Clarke looked at her mom like she had just seen tiny, rainbow colored elves fly out of her ears. "What happened?"

"I think you need to talk with Lexa about this."

Clarke got to her feet and crossed her arms defiantly. "First you can't stand her and now you're _protecting_ her?"

A sound echoed from the doorway, and when the image of a very familiar something flashed on her periphery, Clarke's head began to spin; she felt all her circuits short out at once. The next thing she knew she was flat on her back - looking into a worried pair of green eyes.

* * *

"Clarke?" Lexa's voice reverberated in her head.

"She's ok Lexa, you're too weak to be out of bed." Abby chided.

_It was all underwater and in slow, slow motion._

Lexa held her chin between thumb and forefinger, gently shaking her. "Clarke!"

She looked up at Lexa with the most confused expression. _It hadn't hit her yet_. She started to smile _and yep - there it goes_. She scowled and tried to push Lexa away.

"Ugh, get _off_ me."

"Clarke please, let me explain." Lexa looked like a kicked puppy.

"Mo-oom, get her _off_ me!" Clarke sounded like an 8 year old and Abby had to laugh. And she laughed - totally inappropriately.

Clarke glared at Abby as if to say: _really? She seriously could not keep up with her mother's bullshit._

"Please Clarke, I'll tell you everything," Lexa's puppy dog eyes pleaded.

"Talk to her honey, she shouldn't be out of bed, it's not safe." Abby grabbed Lexa by the arm in an attempt to pull her off Clarke.

Lexa resisted and let her body go limp, putting all of her weight on Clarke, who groaned in response.

"Get off me," Clarke huffed and pushed Lexa up into Abby's waiting arms.

"Come on Clarke, help me get her back into bed." Abby had draped Lexa's arm over one shoulder and looked to her daughter for assistance.

She begrudgingly got to her feet. Taking her time in wiping the dust from her pants. _Don't worry about me everyone, I'm just fine._ She made a pained face as she grabbed Lexa's free arm and put it around her shoulder.

Abby led them into one of the spare bedrooms off the main hall. Clarke kept Lexa upright while at the same time, trying to stay as far away from her body as possible. Abby tuned down the covers, and motioned to Clarke who helped Lexa into bed.

When Clarke looked at Lexa lying on that fresh, clean bed so bloody, so weak and so broken, it was hard to stay angry. But she wanted to. "I'm out of here," she bluffed, heading for the doorway.

Lexa groaned and struggled to get up.

"Clarke, no." Abby grabbed onto her daughter's hand. "You're not leaving here until you two talk. We've come way too far for - for this all to have been for _nothing_. So you give her the respect you know she would give you if your situations were reversed."

Abby's impromptu monologue surprised everyone, including herself. She nervously looked between them both then tuned and left, leaving them in private for the first time in what seemed like forever.

* * *

Clarke tentatively sat on the corner of the bed, she couldn't or wouldn't look up.

Lexa waited. She was aching to tell Clarke everything but knew that pushing would only inflame her. They were alone at least, thanks to Clarke's mother. If they got out of this ok, Lexa vowed to spend the rest of her life making sure Abby was always well taken care of. _She owed her._

They sat in silence. Clarke looked at the wooden floor while Lexa looked directly at Clarke. When the silence became too heavy they both broke at once.

Lexa: Let me explain. Clarke: You lied to me.

"I did not lie, Clarke."

"I saw you with her." She was fast becoming angry again, Lexa feared she might run.

She sat up with difficulty and reached an arm out, hovering it over Clarke's shoulder, certain the touch would be unwelcome. "Please." Her voice was so soft. "Clarke - please let me explain. It is not what you think."

The desperation and sheer amount of pure feeling in Lexa's voice tugged hard at Clarke's heart, _but she had been fooled by her charms before._

Her raging blue eyes bored into Lexa's. "Fine, but once this is over I'm leaving."

* * *

Indra had locked Sameen in another spare bedroom. She bolted the door and stood guard outside in an arm chair while she relaxed by the fire. She was certain the woman would not escape, but it was nice to sit by the fire and chill out given the amount of drama in the last 24 hours. She shook her head fondly. _Lexa. That girl was going to give her a heart attack_. She put her stony exterior back on as Abby walked into view.

She slumped down in a chair next to Indra and exhaled dramatically. "I don't know how you do it." She looked over at the grounder and smiled.

"Do what?" She narrowed her eyebrows.

"Deal with Lexa and all her-" She gestured widely with her hand. "All _this_."

Indra leaned back into the chair and glared at Abby, but her lips turned up slightly at the corners. "All this never existed until she met _your_ daughter."

They looked each other in the eye and laughed like easy comrades. _What a crazy trip this had been._

* * *

"I specifically asked and you said there was nothing between you, yet 20 minutes later you're kissing her and saying you _love_ her!" Clarke was shouting. "What the hell is that, Lexa?!?"

_Ok, so much for calmly sitting down and taking._

Lexa took in a shaky breath. "Clarke, I did not lie. I love yo-"

"- _don't_ say that," she growled, advancing on Lexa who wisely backed away and put her palms up. "You've thrown that word around since the very beginning. I'm not stupid, Lex-"

"-Clarke," Lexa tried to soothe.

"Don't Clarke me, I won't be fooled by you again."

 _Ouch_.

Lexa's eyes were wounded but she continued, voice barely above a whisper. "I've loved you since the moment I saw you."

Clarke stilled and looked up at Lexa, whose eyes were full of unshed tears.

Lexa continued quickly, not sure how much time she had. "Clarke, I did not lie to you. I wanted to protect you from information that could put you at risk." She looked her right in the eye. "I have known her since I was a child. We trained together as young Nightbloods and we became best friends. She was like a _sister_ to me. When I became Commander, she committed a crime and was sentenced to die. Someone else was executed for her crime and Indra took her far away from Polis." She took a deep breath, and put her fingers to her temples. "I never thought I'd see her again."

Clarke didn't respond. She didn't know what to think. _Lexa was very convincing_.

"What did she do?" Clarke's brow was furrowed - trying to gauge the validity of the story as well as Lexa's sincerity.

"She allowed a prisoner to go free."

"Who was the prisoner?"

Lexa replied instantly to each question Clarke fired off. "A woman she was in love with."

"So she _does_ like girls?"

"And boys, but yes, she fell in love with someone who was to be hanged and she let her go. She was caught and I had to give the order for her death." Lexa's voice was weak and hoarse. "And then I conspired to fake her death, which is why I kept it from-"

Clarke interrupted, not finished with her questions. "Did Anya know her?"

"Yes."

"Did Anya _care_ about her?" She fired off question after question, trying to gather data and see where Lexa faltered.

"Very much." Lexa tried to keep her eyes open and focused, despite being very weak and in pain.

"Why did she kiss you?" Clarke wouldn't look away.

Lexa sighed and willed herself to be patient. _Clarke was so wounded by what she thought she had seen_. She had to be extra gentle. "Clarke, sweetheart-"

"-no!" Clarke growled. She wasn't going to succumb to Lexa's effortless charm until she was sure she had the whole story. "Don't sweetheart me, why did you kiss her?" She pointed a finger angrily in Lexa's face.

Lexa was tempted to say how gorgeous Clarke was all angry and frustrated like that, but she didn't dare. She wasn't eager to add a broken jaw to her list of injuries.

Her voice was firmer this time, as she took more control of the situation. "I didn't kiss her, Clarke. She kissed me. It was a peck between friends that lasted only a second." Clarke briefly softened, but didn't interrupt. "I have greeted Anya and Indra the same way many times."

Clarke was beginning to crack despite her vow not to. "But you said you _loved_ her. I heard you."

"I do love her." She sensed it before Clarke got up to leave - she was going to run. Lexa quickly reached out and grabbed onto both shoulders, turning Clarke to look at her. "As a friend and I've never, _ever_ loved anyone the way I love you."

* * *

"What happened to Sameen?" Abby asked Indra while they sat drinking whiskey by the fire.

Indra pointed to the room where she had been sequestered.

Abby frowned. _She didn't like this part of Lexa's life - ordering people around as if they were servants._

"I need to check her arm. I haven't seen her since Lexa tore the tubing out of her vein."

"She's fine." Indra told her.

Abby got up and stood near the door. "She's my _patient_."

Indra grumpily got up, slid the key in the lock and turned the knob. "Good luck." She ushered Abby into the room and loudly locked the door behind her.

Playful dark eyes looked up from the bed where she lay. "Couldn't stay away, huh?" She smiled crookedly at the pretty doctor."

* * *

Clarke's entire body buzzed as if Lexa's words had released a powerful drug directly into her bloodstream. Her body ached to succumb, but her mind demanded proof. She twisted out of Lexa's grasp and stared daggers into the brunette's eyes. "Were you two ever romantically involved?"

"Never." Lexa was adamant.

"Are you attracted to her?"

Lexa held her eyes. "Not at all."

"Is she attracted to you?"

Lexa tried not to laugh. "No, Clarke." _She didn't tell Clarke about Sam's flirtation with Abby._

"Did you ever have sex with her in any shape or form?" Clarke's eyes were hard and focused. S _he would have been formidable in a courtroom._

"No."

"Have you ever had her tongue in your mouth?" _She was certainly direct._

Heat crept up Lexa's neck upon hearing _tongue_ and _mouth_ in a sentence uttered by Clarke.

"No, Clarke."

"Do you swear to me?" She looked Lexa deeply in the eye. If Lexa was lying, Clarke was sure she would know.

* * *

Sameen lay on the bed, clad only in a tight, sheer long-sleeved tee and black boy shorts. With her arms crossed behind her head- she sighed and then grinned at Abby, looking every bit like she knew this was going to happen.

Abby's breath caught in her throat. _Oh shit_. She hadn't had same sex inclinations since she was a teen on the ark. She'd had a girl friend with whom she experimented during their many sleepovers. Sameen reminded Abby of her old friend. Strong, sarcastic, funny, somewhat broken, but completely irresistible.

 _Keep it together._ She willed herself to be calm while her heart beat erratically in her chest. She approached the bed and sat, looking into the woman's obsidian eyes that seemed to go on forever. "I need to check this." She ran her thumb over the crook of Sameen's arm from where the tubing had been torn.

She smiled devilishly. "Are you asking me to take off my shirt?"

Abby's cheeks felt hot and she had the urge to leave, but she willed herself to remain professional. "Please."

* * *

"I swear on my life." Lexa's mouth had suddenly gone dry as a desert. She looked at Clarke with all the love she could muster and even more she didn't know was there. She stared at Clarke so long and hard, she felt as if she might be able to peer into soul. She tried to to tell Clarke everything she felt with those deep, green eyes.

"I swear to you," she repeated softly, her voice cracking slightly. "I swear on our future children." A single tear escaped and Clarke watched as made its way down Lexa's cheek.

Lexa suddenly felt the wind knocked out of her as Clarke crashed into her arms, pushing them both off the bed completely.

* * *

 "All you had to do was ask." She grinned and peeled off her shirt in an easy movement, revealing a black, skimpy bra that contrasted beautifully with her dark, inked skin.

She smiled up at the doctor who looked like she might be a tiny bit flustered. And Sameen being Sameen, she pushed. "Well, now you're overdressed."

Abby was flustered. _Was it hot in here?_ "Fine, I'll take off my jacket." She slipped out of it and laid it on a chair. "Happy? Now let me see that arm." She moved to the side of the bed and took the woman's arm.

" _Not_ happy." Sam made a pouty face and pursed her pretty lips. "I didn't want your jacket."

Abby blushed again, but continued to examine the woman's arm with clinical fingers. Moments passed as she continued to inspect the puncture wound.

Sam persisted. "I said didn't want your jacket."

 _Fine, she would bite_. She backed up and looked at Sam, eyebrows raised. "Well, what _did_ you want?"

Sam grinned crookedly - the effect was dazzling and she knew it. She looked directly into Abby's somewhat annoyed, but curious eyes and raised an eyebrow. "I wanted your _panties_."

* * *

"Honey, I'm sorry!" Clarke tried to hoist Lexa back into bed.

"It's ok." Lexa laughed despite the searing pain that ripped through her side. As long as things were ok with Clarke, she didn't care about anything else. A little physical pain was nothing next to the agony she felt when their relationship was on the rocks.

Once Clarke had tucked her in, Lexa spoke. "I would _die_ before I'd touch anyone else." She grabbed at Clarke's jacket, pleading. "You have to know that."

Clarke's head spun. _No sound had ever affected her the way Lexa's voice did_. She felt powerless to resist.

_It was the truth. They both felt it._

Lexa opened her mouth to speak again, but Clarke shushed her with a finger to her lips. "I do." She gazed deeply into Lexa's dark green eyes. "I know."

* * *

* * *

Clarke was thinking of a Phoenix. A creatire that had risen from the ashes and was reborn over and over again. _Kind of like the Commander's spirit. Kind of like them._ She sketched rough images of the bird over and over again - not feeling quite right about any of them.

Abby had returned from a long absence and came to stand near her daughter. She looked better and Clarke hoped she had gotten some rest. Abby looked at her daughter's drawings and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

_They were both so young and this was such a big decision._

Clarke looked at her mother and smiled. She no longer felt the need to be defensive and was thrilled that Abby had finally seen Lexa as a person instead of a narcissistic, all ruling tyrant. "A hundred percent."

Abby could see the happiness radiating off her daughter. She thought for a moment. "What about a griffin?"  
  
She reached over and quickly turned the pages of the great, big book Willa had given Clarke. It took her a moment, but she found it:

_The griffin, griffon, or gryphon is a legendary creature with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion; the head and wings of an eagle; and an eagle's talons as its front feet. Because the lion was traditionally considered the king of the beasts and the eagle the king of birds, the griffin was thought to be an especially powerful and majestic creature. The griffin was also thought of as king of all creatures. Griffins are known for guarding treasure and priceless possessions._

_In symbolism, the griffin combines the symbolic qualities of two solar creatures, the lion and the eagle. It is the king of birds and lord of the air united with the king of beasts and lord of the earth. Griffins are a symbol of the sun, wisdom, vengeance, strength, and salvation_.

Clarke looked at her mom with so much affection, Abby laughed; she was so glad to see Clarke smiling for a change. Clarke was so happy she feared she might cry. _The griffin was perfect. She would be the lion to Lexa's eagle._

"It's perfect, Mom." Clarke stood up and threw her arms around Abby. "I'm gonna go show this to Lexa."

* * *

Abby smiled and lauger softly to herself. _Lexa was a good person and it was obvious she loved Clarke fiercely. Indra had been right, Abby felt the certainty in her bones; Lexa would always put Clarke's needs before her own. She had proven it time and time again. She would die protecting her daughter._

"Hey." A familiar voice tore her from her reverie.

Heat instantly crept up her neck. She turned and was not surprised to see Sameen, who was obviously, no longer being held hostage.

"Hi," she said softly. Dizzily remembering how silky smooth the woman's skin had felt under her fingers.

"Preparing for a wedding, I see?" She raised an eyebrow playfully.

"Sure looks that way." Abby shamelessly flirted with Sameen.

"Sounds romantic." She came up behind Abby and wrapped her arms around her waist, nuzzling her face into the woman's neck.

Abby stiffened as her mind and body raced in opposite directions. The sound of Sameen's voice and the feel of her breath on her neck made reasoning somewhat difficult.

_Clarke and Lexa were probably busy somewhere discussing griffins, behind a closed door and Indra and Willa had gone off in search of some kind of plant or something. No one was around. One kiss wouldn't do any harm._

She turned around and collided with Sam's mouth.

* * *

Clarke's hands were quick and deft and Lexa was utterly smitten as she watched her easily create an image on the previously blank piece of parchment.

Clarke was adorable; she was all smiles as she excitedly held up the two designs she had sketched. "See, if we put it on your left and my right arm they'll match up when we hold hands."

Seeing Clarke this happy and excited - Lexa was certain she would die from happiness. Clarke held up the drawings - two small griffins sat side by side, their tails intertwining to form the shape of a heart where they met in the middle.

It was Lexa's turn to feel her head spin. "God, I love you." Her heart felt ready to explode as she traced Clarke's cheek gently with a fingertip.

Clarke smiled and leaned into the touch. Lexa looked much better now that she had given her a sponge bath and all but forced food down her throat. Her color was returning and Clarke finally let herself exhale and relax; only just now realizing how close she had come to losing Lexa entirely.

She tossed the drawings aside and curled into Lexa's lap, reveling in her warmth and strength. "I would die if anything ever happened to you." She snuggled closer, feeling Lexa's strong arms enfold her.

Lexa choked back the sobs until she was finally able to answer. "I know," she whispered, holding her soon-to-be wife tighter. "Me too."

* * *

 **You have questions?** What a coincidence.  **I have answers**.

Did they get married? Yep.

Where would they live? Probably will split their time between TonDC and Polis.

What happened to Sameen? She stayed on as Willa's apprentice. Lexa insisted she tattoo her face and cut her hair - and she ordered her to stop using her given name. It was too risky.

Sameen and Abby? Abby made the trip to the tattooist's tree a few times each month for _supplies_. Alone, despite Raven's pleas to accompany her. If she rode quickly, the trip only took about 90 minutes each way.

Sameen and Lexa spoke in private before the ceremony. Sameen knew that Lexa had finally been topped and good-naturedly teased her about it. Lexa's face said it all, and Sameen was happy for her.

Clarke acknowledged Sameen and her importance in Lexa's life, but never really trusted her. She would have flipped to know that Abby and Sam kept up a relationship for years afterward.

Bellamy was super happy for them both. _Really_. 

Clarke and Lexa would later adopt an baby boy found orphaned in the woods - a boy called Luca. They were deliriously happy.

What [A griffin looks like ](http://mythortruth.com/griffin/).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all so much for hanging with me while I wrote this. Thanks for all your kudos, comments and suggestions.  
> xxx


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